Last
night descended into a strange cocktail of girly giggling, melancholic moaning
and rueful reminiscences. Sophie got tearful about Tamara, Hannah got niggly
about Nathan and Philippa got militant about motherhood. I sat in the corner
with a large glass of red wine and tried not to put myself in the firing line.
Women
are odd, that’s the only conclusion I can draw from all this. I’ve tried, at
different times of my life, to understand the fairer sex as best I can, but
since the age of about 22 I’ve just given up and gone along with whatever gets
thrown at me and hoped to come out of the other side unscathed. I couldn’t go a day without seeing my wife,
and yet each day hands me at least one example of why we’d be better off living
on separate islands. It seems such a weird concept that two species – man and
woman – seem determined to force ourselves upon each other (in a relationship
sense) when we all see overwhelming evidence all around us that it’s a terrible
idea that never goes well. Initial excitement and sexual frenzy gives way to
bitter battles and constant conflict. Always. Maybe there are a handful of
couples out there who survive long-term with their compatibility, friendship
and marriage intact, but I bet they’re few and far between. The rest of us just
slog through the daily grind of togetherness and hope not to kill or be killed.
I’d
love to look at this further, but I feel more questions than answers would
arise, and I would end up irritating a large portion of the people who read it.
Who am I, after all, to try to unravel the mysteries and complexities of human
intersexual interactions? Especially when I have a vested interest and could
not consider the matter objectively? Wiser minds than mine have tried, and
failed, and been scorned. Some of them made a shit load of money out of the
process, but that’s beside the point, and that’s for their consciences to
wrestle with.
Am I
a cynical old twat just voicing his misogynist bullcrap?
No –
I’m a still-slightly-pissed middle-aged twat recovering from a girlie
sleepover.
RC 13-10-18
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