Only my 2nd ever Feb 29th blog!

Don’t have much to say - just wanted to post a blog on a day that only comes round once every 4 years!

RC 29-2-16

another poem

It seems to me
That poetry
Is not designed for the likes of me
I’m working class
I’m not up my own arse
I don’t appreciate it’s complexity
I like 4/4 time
And simple rhyme
I don’t need sexy metre
So show me a miss
Whose couplets are bliss
I’ll say I’d like to meet her

When it gets complicated, I get frustrated
My anti-snob acid starts burning
So as soon as this sheet, is full and complete
It’s haiku to which I’m returning

RC 28-2-16

poem

It’s amazing the rhymes you can find if you don’t mind butchering the English language somewhat:

The chaffinch is my favourite bird
It sits upon my lawn
It feeds upon my nuts and seeds
And, in a flash, it’s gawn

RC 28-2-16

Normal service resumes

As usually happens with me - after a nice little online rant and moan about the climate and the darkness and my inability to rise above it - I am feeling much better today!
Maybe, in future, it would be best not to read my blogs in February, in case I’m in the throes of SAD and just spewing negativity.
Or maybe I should avoid the computer when I’m feeling low.
Anyway, today’s a new day, and so is tomorrow. I got a load of stuff done at work today, the day didn’t drag the way the rest of the week has, and I’m looking forward to the weekend!
And I’ve blogged two days in a row so I guess I’m getting back to my old self.

RC 26-2-16

Ready for Spring

Where have I been, you ask? I think the weeks of Winter weather and the lingering aftermath of the wedding have been keeping me down and subdued. I’ve felt so flat this week. As flat as people used to think the Earth was. Everything has been a struggle and the time at work seems to drag on like a bad film. Then I get home and I can’t be bothered to do things that I know will make me feel better. Then I go to bed feeling worse, because I think I’ve wasted an evening.
What a strange life this is.
I know I’ll be all right soon. I know it’s just the effects of the cold and the fact that we’ve had three months with less than 10 hours of light per day, and I know that we’re currently gaining about 20 minutes of daylight a week and it’s only a month until we change the clocks. But then I look at my Weather App and it tells me the temperature won’t go up in the next two weeks and I feel poopy again. 
For the first time since I started at the garage, I am missing my old job. Because if I was working different shifts every day, I would have times during each week where I was off in the morning, and then I could walk in the Winter sun or take my bike for a little spin. And that would improve my mood no end. But as things are now it is barely light when I leave the house; I spend most of each day in an office or a garage; and then I drive home in twilight.
Blimey - if I’m missing something about shift work at the supermarket then I MUST be in a bad way!!

RC 25-2-16

3 letters, part 2

Here’s another one:

The man was in a fix.
No job.
Ill.
No pal.
No gal.
“Sod it. I’ll end it all.” he say.
And end it he did.
By a gun.

END.

Three-Word Challenge

I set myself a challenge today - write a short-story where no word contains more than 3 letters. Here’s what I came up with:

One day I saw a boy. He was a sad boy. “Oi - why are you so sad?” ask I.
“Coz my dad is an ass,” he say.
“Oh, Who is he?”
“It’s YOU, dad. I’m so sad coz you is my dad and you is an ASS.”
THE END.

RC 20-2-16

Friday Film Night

In from work and relieved to be so after a thoroughly miserable week of feeling miserable and struggling with a cold. The shivers have gone and the sniffles have lightened, so I’m going to indulge my rapidly-returning appetite by throwing shit loads of chicken and veg into a wok and making myself a spicy stir fry.  Philippa is out with sporty sorts so there’s no-one to distract me and nothing to stop me doing what I jolly well please. Drumming is tempting, but it’s cold in the garage, and I still have a bit of a thick head so thumping the Hell out of a noisy drumkit  may not be the way to go. So I’m going to put on my ‘cinephile’ hat and get the Blu-Ray warmed up and lose myself in my favourite place - The Good Old World Of The Movies. Tonight I am going to watch all four Jurassic Park films back-to-back (-to-back-to-back.) I figure I should be finished about 3am tomorrow, allowing for toilet breaks and trips to the kitchen for snacks and drink top-ups. Sorted...

RC 19-2-16

Still feeling ill, so...

Can’t be bothered to write much, so here’s a quick haiku:

Winter depression
Hovering over my life
Like a shitty gnat

RC 18-2-16

post-Valentine's Day Assacre

My flatulence today has been equal to that of a dysentery-ravaged mammoth. If fart gas was weighty I’d have lost ten stone. And the smell…..
What is it they put in Indian food that makes your arse smell EXACTLY THE SAME the next day as the food did when it arrived at your door? Maybe it’s a trick to make you feel hungry again and get you to go back for more of the same.  It hasn’t worked on me today. My intestinal tract is so sore I’d be happy to keep away from curries until Christmas. So all I’ve eaten today is one piece of toast and a salad. 

RC 16-2-16

Better late than never

Another day of feeling crap and feeling sorry for myself.
Due to my illness, we missed out on yesterdays ‘Not-Interested-Now-I’m-Married’ Day bullshit. I wasn’t bothered in the slightest, but Philippa seemed a bit peeved, so I assume the first Valentine’s Day after your wedding is important to a woman. 
So we had a chat and decided we’d celebrate this false romantic holiday tonight by getting a takeaway. I asked for Indian because nothing burns through a bad cold better than a hot curry. Philippa agreed, but neither of us could be arsed to drive somewhere to collect, so we used one of these online order services that are linked to various local establishments and ‘guarantee you’ll be eating within 30 minutes.’ An hour later we took delivery of a soggy bag containing two luke-warm curries that were different from the ones we’d ordered. Thank God for the microwave, I say. Plus, mine was a lot spicier than the one I’d expected, so at least I could taste it through the snot and phlegm. 

RC 15-2-16

Haiku is the best medicine

I’m in that frame of mind where the hours seem to fall into one another.
Time does strange things when you’re poorly and depressed. Five minutes takes forever, then an hour has passed in a flash.
Here’s some poetry:

Time doesn’t stand still
But sometimes it can drag on
Like it’s stuck in mud

I hate feeling ill
My mind seems to go awry
When my body aches

I hate fevers coz
With a high temperature
I dream of spiders

The internet says
‘Having a hot bath might help.’
Thank you, Doctor Web

Yet again it seems
I’ll lose an entire week to
Coughing and sniffles

RC 12-2-16

Poor Rory

I’ve felt like shit today. Terrible sore throat and aching all over. Sitting in an office with the heating full on and still feeling myself shiver. God, I hate Winter. 
I turned to Philippa for caring support only to be told “Maybe sitting up overnight Sunday until 4am to watch the SuperBowl, then going to work as normal for 9am on Monday was a bad idea and knocked your immune system a little. Or maybe you’re just getting old..”
I hate my wife sometimes.

RC 11-2-16

Better? Worse?

I’m very pleased to hear that ROBOT WARS will be making a return to TV screens later this year. For those of you who missed it before, it was Engineering Geek Heaven as amateur enthusiasts from around the country designed and built robots and then sent them into battle in a BBC-built Arena of Destruction.
The whole thing was hosted by Craig Charles, who seemed to think that, in the world of presenting, volume equates to success.  His enthusiastic shouting would get louder and more boisterous as the rounds progressed, until he would end up gripping the set for support while forcing his words out with such force that his head veins would be bulging like over-inflated bicycle inner tubes. If he started an episode at full tilt I was always worried he might not have left himself enough room to move and would end up spontaneously combusting while announcing the winner of the Final. 
Mr Charles will, thankfully for this particular viewer, not be returning to his former role. The new version of the show will be hosted by Dara O’Briain, an intelligent comedian and darling of BBC Science and panel shows. I like him, but he talks so fast and so mumbly that in all my years of watching him I’ve only ever understood 1 word in 10 that he utters. 
Still - who needs a coherent presenter when you have remote-controlled dustbins attacking each other with axes and flame-throwers?
Licence money, In my opinion, spent very well indeed.

RC 10-2-16

SuperBowl 50 guesswork

Getting in early with a prediction, as tomorrow I’ll be too excited/distracted/drunk to go online.

Panthers 38  Broncos 17

RC 6-2-16

Bachelor (drum)pad

Philippa has been out being sporty so I’ve been drinking red wine and trying out some new food combinations.
Here are two that are REALLY not nice at all:
Blueberries and mayonnaise.
Cream crackers and wine gums.
I cleansed my taste buds with an hours drumming and now I’m gonna cuddle up with a cushion to watch “The Counselor”  
How very alliterative of me…

RC 5-2-16

The Grimonth

February has been a bit grim so far. Cold winds and lots of rain showers. Storm Horace (or something) has swept across the Atlantic and then made it’s way down the East coast of Great Britain, dumping record amounts of rainfall as it went.
Why do we have to have elaborate Storm names anyway?
What happened to the days when the Met Office spokesperson would just say “Gonna be a bit windy out”? instead of “Lock up your livestock, folks, coz here comes Hurricane Stacey!”
I think it’s all part of our government’s determination to make us more like America.
It’s understandable in the US, where various parts of the country suffer 200 miles per hour winds and they get three feet of snow fall in an evening. But isn’t our weather, by comparison, a bit tame?
Anyway, I’m sick of it now. Wake me up when it’s Spring….

RC 3-2-16