Perhaps I should have kept her..

I saw TheLoveMachine driving around today. There was a pang of regret in my heart. That stupid twat I sold her to has put big wraparound bumpers on her and put tinted sunstrips in the windows. She looks like a 70-year-old woman who’s had botox injections in her lips. (if you see what I mean)
Poor girl.

I’m quite tired today because not only did I over-indulge while watching the American Football Live From Wembley, I also drank lots of coffee and sat up overnight to watch the Patriots-Falcons game that started at 2am. Not ideal preparation for a day at work, but a lovely way to spend an Autumn Sunday night-time. I think I ate a years supply of Doritos and enough cashew nuts to kill a donkey.
I can’t pretend my performance at work was anything other than poor, but I’m not going to worry about having the odd under-par day here and there. I am well aware that I was hoping to have left the job by now, but I’m not going to let it depress me that I’m still there. There are other things going on that need addressing, after all. We have to plan what we’re doing when we vacate this house, for one, and I think being out of work at the same time as having to acquire accommodation might be a bit much to take on. Plus, we had a Manager’s meeting yesterday and we were given our targets for the rest of the year. I’m confident I can achieve what they’re looking for and earn myself a nice big Christmas sales bonus, so why leave before I get it?
(see - it’s good to be crap in your first year as a manager, then they set your targets at a level you can stroll to!)

RC 30-9-13

Oh so awkward

I am never, ever, ever doing an Overnight Film Session with Philippa again. I had to sit through the most dire piece of shit I’ve ever been exposed to in my life, and then Philippa fell asleep on me halfway through “Bad Boys.” My bloody arm was numb for hours. I had thought it might be nice to have some company but, really, I’d have been better off on my own. 
Today I was tired and a bit grumpy, whereas My Beloved was relaxed and sprightly after her long sleep, so we didn’t make a great combination.
This is a big house but it feels very small when you’re trying to avoid each other.
So now I am going to bed….

RC 28-9-13

Numbers game

This is blog no 1025, so I’m writing it at 1025 am. I’m so clever. Or a bit OCD, depending on how you look at it.

Apropos of nothing at this point, I will tell you that the 5 true facts in my “Fun (false) Facts” post on Friday the 13th were 1, 3, 5, 6 and 8. The others I made up.

We only have 50 days left living in this house. It’s a shame. I shall miss its’ dedicated games room, its’ large garden, and the myriad good places to hide from Philippa when she’s in a bad mood. I shall NOT miss the two-hour task of mowing the lawns, and Philippa’s constant unceasing attempts to keep every square inch of the building clean and free of dust. 

I would like to point out at this point that I have started deliberately misusing apostrophes and comma’s, just to annoy people that hate misuse of apostrophe’s and commas’.

Just 54 hours now til the NFL game kicks off at Wembley….

RC 27-9-13

Music is the cure

Ross and I had a two-hour thrash-about in the rehearsal studio today. What a relief and a release! It’s amazing how the cares of the world seem to lift away from me when I’m whacking the shit out of a drum kit for an hour or so. Neither of us had managed to learn ‘Kashmir’ (surprise, surprise) so we just jammed for a bit and then worked on a version of “I’m A Believer” by The Monkees. We’re getting more confident in our own abilities and losing our fear of making mistakes in front of each other, and as a result our timing as a twosome is improving all the time.
(Apologies if I’m losing you with my professional technical terminology, by the way!)
I still don’t think we’ll go anywhere with this and play gigs or anything, but it’s good fun and I’m getting better and that’s good enough for me.
I’m also getting more and more interested in listening to more music, and discovering new bands. Anytime Philippa is out I’m going to go on YouTube and watch old live music videos, and if I see anything I like I’ll download it and give it a few listens. If that goes well, the band will get their name on my List Of Groups To Investigate and I’ll get myself a copy of everything they’ve ever done and put it on my iPod.
What on Earth did music fans do before the Internet???
This Led Zeppelin lot that Ross keeps talking about seem to have a bit of something about them so I may start with their back catalogue and take it from there.

RC 26-9-13

Late-night popcorn ahoy!

Philippa has agreed to join me for an all-night film session on Friday! We both have Saturday off, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to spend some quality time together (and to distract her from the upcoming task of packing for the move)
She has put one proviso in place though - she gets to pick half the films we watch. I said that was fine, as long as none of them are ‘Mamma Mia’
So we now have a schedule that starts with “Jaws” at 8pm before moving onto “Dirty Dancing” which I don’t mind because I’ve never seen it, and it always pops up on lists of ‘Best Films Ever.’ I know it’s mostly aimed at women but really, how bad can it be??

RC 25-9-13

Key to Love = Don't be a Twat

I’ve been making an ultra-effort to be nice to Philippa all the time, and to not stomp around the house when I’m in a bad mood, and to not let my insecurities about myself and our relationship affect the way I am with her, and guess what? She’s responding by being happy and loving towards me! Not bad going really - we’ve only been together for two-and-a-half years and I’m finally getting the hang of our relationship.
At this rate I might be a good fiance by the time I’m thirty.
Oh God, that’s only 4 months away isn’t it?
Let’s change the subject….

Ross suggested we take our musical encounters to a different level by both learning ‘Kashmir’ by Led Zeppelin. I said ‘yes’ without knowing anything about the song, then I listened to it online and I can’t help thinking he’s aiming slightly higher than either of us are able to reach. Still, when have I ever backed away from a challenge? Oh yes, that’s right - every time I’ve faced one!

RC 24-9-13

Just..... WOW!

I think yesterday may have been one of the best days of my life.
Philippa and her buddies took advantage of the pleasant weather to organise a ‘Sports On The Beach’ day. We had volleyball, bowls, cricket, football and badminton. We also had wine, beer, cider, crisps and barbecues. What a wonderful time we had, made all the better by the realisation that it may be the last such day we have this year.
The really great thing was that I just got on with it and enjoyed it. I didn’t feel out of place, or unworthy, or worried about the way my body might look when compared to the more athletic people around me.  I just enjoyed the day for what it was and what we had.
On the way home we were treated to the most glorious sunset imaginable. 
Then we curled up on the sofa, and Philippa fell asleep with her head resting on me in that peaceful, lovely way that she hasn’t done for ages.
Gorgeous end to a gorgeous day.

Today, by contrast, was shit. 

RC 23-9-13

I'm bored

The title of this blogpost sums things up really - I’m bored. I’m not depressed, or wistful, or tired, or angry, or confused, or any of the other weird emotions that sometimes overpower me and dominate my life and my thoughts. I’m just bored.
Summer has faded away and I feel as if I’m just stuck on a treadmill watching life drift by the same way every day. I believe it’s called ‘Hamster Wheel Syndrome.’
Anyway let’s not dwell on that as you don’t want to hear my woes, especially when it’s just the same old stuff that I go on about most days anyway, and the same old stuff that everyone else is going through in their own lives. 
So…..
Philippa and I have planned the rest of the year. I hate to be that organised but it’s something we’ve had to do as there’s rather a lot going on between now and December. It felt great to be sitting down together and doing it nicely rather than snapping at each other the way we sometimes do. I tend to panic when I have to face change or plan too far ahead, and it’s nice to remember I have someone beside me now to help me through that and be with me on the other side. I’m amazed I ever managed to do anything when I was single, because if I’m not tackling life with Philippa’s help and support I feel naked and scared. 
We’re both quite looking forward to moving house now. The fear and apprehension has given way to excitement as we’ll be placed somewhere new and getting used to a new environment. And we’ll be getting paid for it! Bonus!
(Actually, we don’t get paid for the time in between houses, but you see my point…)
Work is shite, but isn’t work shite for everyone? We’re now sorting out our Christmas rotas and I keep being asked ‘What days do you want to work this year?’ The only answer I can come up with is “None of them”

RC 20-9-13

Haiku Jobsworth

Someone has contacted me to say my haiku on this blogsite is amongst the worst he’s ever seen. He can go frump himself as far as I’m concerned. I try not to be bothered by nasty comments but he has got to me a little, so I thought I’d get back at him the most appropriate way I could think of:

Don’t like my haiku?
Maybe you can’t recognise
Genius in print

RC 18-9-13

Girlfriend on Prozac?

My mind is a whirl today. Philippa is in a spookily good mood and I’ve seen a job I want to apply for. I’m not going to tell you much about the job because any time I’ve done that in the past year or so the whole thing has fallen apart around my ears, so forgive me for keeping you in the dark. I’m happy to tell you about Philippa’s levity, however. She has suddenly decided that she is no longer scared about moving house, which is a Hell of a change in attitude. She is also not hassling me about getting married. Either she has given up, or she’s playing some horrible game of reverse psychology on me. I don’t care either way because it’s just nice to be talking to her without the words ‘wedding’ and ‘colour-scheme’ popping up every five seconds.

RC 17-9-13

Fun (false) Facts

To ease myself back into blogging after a time of laziness, I present for you:
Rory’s Ten Facts About Friday the Thirteenth (5 of which are true!)

1. According to insurance companies, there are actually LESS accidents on Friday the 13th, as people tend to be more careful. 
2. King Henry VI was both born and killed on a Friday the 13th. He also ascended to the throne AND got married on that date. He also got his first haircut on a Friday the 13th, walked his first steps, received his first postcard and lost his first tooth. No, seriously, he did. Look it up. Have you looked it up now? Good - let’s move on…
3. The first mention in literature of Friday the 13th being associated with bad luck did not appear until 1869.
4. In the first draft of the script for the “Friday the 13th” film, the bad guys name was NATHAN CULPEPPER
5. In Greece, the unlucky day is TUESDAY the 13th.
6. In Italy, it’s Friday the SEVENTEETH.
7. The fear of Friday the 13ths is known as PUPANINTRANTAPHOBIA
8. The longest we can go WITHOUT a Friday the 13th is 14 months.
9. By a curiosity of astrophysics, it is never possible to see Saturn’s rings on a Friday the 13th.
10. The letters in FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH can be rearranged to form the phrase “SUPERSTITIOUS CODSWALLOP”

RC 13-9-13

'ever Again

I seem to be drinking quite a lot recently. Maybe it’s because we’re heading into the time of year that I hate. Maybe I’m becoming aware that we have to move house soon, and I’d really rather like to go on living here. Maybe it’s because I hate my job and the reality of it is so painful that I use drink to try and drown my feelings of despair. 
I really don’t know.
But I’ve had a monster headache all day today, and I couldn’t face food until lunchtime. Now I am about to head to work where I will be overwhelmed by the smells of cooking chickens and sweaty customers. 
Pray for me….

RC 9-9-13

Drunken blogging

I can barely string three words together, such has been my intake of wine. Rather than try for paragraphs, I’ll just list a few hi-lites from todays BarBQu, otherwise I’ll start typing something and forget what I’m typing about halfway through it.
So…
1. We played darts, pissed, and I missed the board with 9 consecutive darts, even though I stepped closer each time.
2. I showed everyone my tattoo, and laughed louder than any1 as I told them the story behind it
3. Just for a change, Philippa got more squiffed than I did, so she can’t tell me off for being guzzly
4. I went for a pee just before we left, and missed the toilet. I then used a towel to mop up my spillage, which I then hung back on the towel rack in the bathroom
5. I told the taxi driver to “take me to my workplace so I can torch the ****ing sh*t-hole” Thankfully, he didn’t know where I work. 
6. Ah, shit, I can’t remember anything else

RC 8-9-13

Cat got my tongue?

Yeah, I’ve been lazy. Sorry. Just couldn’t be bothered to write anything. It’s not as if the week has been uneventful. I got threatened at work by a customer, I nearly got knocked off my bike by a bus and I was so drunk and angry last night that I nearly dug out my own tattoo with a soup spoon. Lots of things have happened, I just couldn’t be bothered to tell you about any of it…
Never mind - tomorrow’s another day, isn’t it? Let’s make a fresh start, move on stronger, and never speak of this unpleasantness again. We’ve been invited to a barbecue as it happens, so at least I’ll have something to write about. And I WILL write about it. 
I promise, I promise, I promise….

RC 7-9-13

By Jove...

Cast Away seemed appropriate (man alone, fighting insanity) but it was so boring I fell asleep and so didn’t get to see the films below it on my list. What a disappointment.

I may have a re-think of my ‘Alphabetical Order’ blog challenge. It seems a bit pointless doing 26 posts in a month if they’re all shit… Maybe I’ll stick to the original plan (26 consecutive posts beginning with each letter of the alphabet in turn) but not set a time limit. That way it can carry over into October or beyond and maybe, as I won’t be forcing them out, some of them will be worth reading. (As much as any of my blog posts are worth reading, ever)

It was bloody dark by 8.30 tonight. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I think we should change the clocks every month now so it never gets dark before 10. I know people in Scotland would moan about the darker mornings but who cares? I don’t live there, so sod ‘em.

I’m going to bed now. I’m obviously tired and irritable, and it’s not as if I can pop out on my bike or go for a walk BECAUSE IT’S SODDING DARK.

RC 3-9-13

All by myself

I wouldn’t say I was tired this morning, but when getting ready for work I put aftershave on my hair and hair gel on my chin. 
Anyway, Philippa is away overnight and I don’t have to work tomorrow, so I’m planning one of my all-night DVD filmfests. I did consider doing an entire season of ‘House’ or ‘Mad Men’ as people keep saying how good they are, but I would always choose film over TV so this is my planned running order:
The Nutty Professor (original version)
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Cast Away (coz I’ve never seen it)
ALIENS
Shaun Of The Dead
Magic!

RC 2-9-13