The End of 1

We made it to the end of January!
I have decided that Feb will be a poem-heavy month. I want to get back into writing poetry, and setting myself the challenge of filling this blogsite with odes might provoke me to put pen to paper (sort of) and compose.
My other aims for February? Enjoy spare time with my beautiful wife, and spend as much time as possible with my wonderful sons. It won't be too long before I'm working every Saturday again and I want to enjoy the weekends while I have them.

RC 31-1-26

Maybe, at heart, I'm an actor

I was jokingly talking about starting a cult at work today, and I got so carried away and so into it that I think I've convinced some co-workers that I'm serious. They were looking increasingly concerned and mentioned calling our employer to ask for his intervention.
I can't remember how it started, but it was just one of those moments when your brain kicks into gear and finds a nice line of thought that is easy and comfortable to surf along, and you let your imagination take over and it just churns out more and more detailed nuances. A very helpful thing when it's all about a relevant work project, but a bit worrying for those around you when it's centred on something morally questionable and possibly illegal.
The thing is, we're in a perfect location. The centre can hold close to a thousand people, and it's enclosed within high fences on three sides, and is protected by a stream and a dense wood on the fourth. We could stock up on tinned food over a number of months with no-one really questioning why we're hoarding. We could get weapons in on the pretence that we're holding a renaissance fair, and by the time anyone realised what was going on, we'd have hundreds of devoted followers encamped with us, brainwashed to the point of being almost slaves. No-one of any authority would even be able to set foot on the centre, lest they be piked by a minion.
I'm not going to do it, you understand, but I could. And I'm pretty convinced I could do it successfully....
And I seem to have convinced my staff that I'm serious.

RC 29-1-26

January nearly done, then

I've been feeling a bit flat this week, I must be honest. I think it's because the weekend was so wonderful, and now we're back to the daily grind, with nothing huge to look forward to. I suppose I'm just experiencing the post-Yule Blues a few weeks later than others. It's an advantage to having my birthday so soon in the New Year - while everyone else is on the come-down from Christmas, I have another event to prepare for, and it keeps those festive feelings rolling on through the darkness.
Now, I'm slumming it in Sadsville with the rest of you.

It's all relative, of course. The truth is, I have plenty to look forward to. Not least of which is a little Valentine's Day get-away with my gorgeous wife. Her idea, her treat, and her suggestion, but one I am very, very happy to go along with.  We shall be having a very fine meal and a very fine stay in a very fine hotel.  How nice it is of The World to make February 14th fall on a Saturday, so I won't be distracted by work, and we won't have any problems finding friends to watch our boys for us.

RC 28-1-26

Narked From Losing

I spoke a lot about the NFL yesterday, without actually reviewing my attempts at guessing the results...
So:
I have successfully picked 8 winners out of 12 games so far. Nothing to be impressed by really, and I don't think I have a future career path that involves punditry or predictions. Getting two-thirds right could probably be achieved by just tossing a coin and picking the winners that way, so I'm as effective as a 50p coin, really.
Maybe that's what I'll do next year? Predict the outcome of each NFL game in two ways - one where I study the form properly and make a rational, reasoned decision, and one where I just throw a coin in the air and see how it lands, and over the course of the whole season we'll see whether consideration is better than chance?
Actually, that's a terrible idea. It would mean a lot of work, a lot of commitment, and a weekly endeavour; and I'm not a particularly prideful person, but if I lost to an inanimate object, even my ego might be irretrievably damaged.

RC 27-1-26

Sporting!

For someone who doesn't consider himself a huge fan of sports, I'm finding lots to keep me occupied and distracted during this Wintertime. With the darts, the NFL, and now the Australian Open tennis, one could even be mistaken for thinking I've discovered a love of competitive sports viewing over the course of this January.
I watched the Patriots - Broncos game last night, which was quite an experience. It started out as an interesting defensive battle and ended up being a farcical ice ballet that probably should have been abandoned and replayed on a different day. You couldn't see the pitch, none of them could keep on their feet, and with the New England uniform being all white, it was like Denver were playing a team of ghosts. You had to wonder whether it was actually safe for them to carry on playing, and the 4th quarter couldn't even be classed as football, really. It was more like watching primary school children sent out onto an ice rink to play a game they hadn't had explained to them. Surely common sense should have prevailed and they should have called a halt until the weather improved and the pitch could have been cleared of snow? But maybe I'm just saying that because I didn't like the outcome.
I have to say that I am not enamoured with the thought of watching the Super Bowl this year. It's a bit of a boring return to the same old teams dominating again, and I don't really want either of them to win. Mind you, I said I was going to avoid it last year, and ended up thoroughly enjoying it. But the difference this year is - I don't want either team to win. Plus, I'm 42 now, and I can't handle the overnight viewing as well as I used to. So maybe I'll just get a good nights sleep on Feb 8th and read the result in the morning...

RC 26-1-26

Ya gotta love these weekends

The birthday celebrations continue... (that's probably why I haven't 'filled you in' on what happened on the day itself - it's become a bit of an ongoing affair).
We're on our way to North Norfolk to stay with some old friends. They decided that January was a bit quiet and gloomy, and they wanted something to look forward to after all the December festivities, so they're using the anniversary of my birth as an excuse to have a gathering. Actually, that's a bit cynical and unfair, what I should say is, 'they like me and value me as a friend and don't see me as often as they'd like to so they're spoiling me on the occasion of my birthday'. (but I still think my first description is the accurate one).
It should be lovely. And I'm sure you'll know that I don't always look forward to events like these, especially if they're centred on me. But I'm really excited, and really honoured that they're doing it. Both my sisters will be there this evening too, which will be wonderful, and then tomorrow we're popping to see Ted and Beryl, so I really am getting to spend birthday time with my very favourite people. I haven't really kept you up to date with all that's happened with Ted and Beryl, but they're both very old now, and nowhere near as spry or sprightly as they used to be. Every time I see them, I genuinely wonder whether it's the last time I'll see them, which is horrible, but only human, I think. They are the closest thing I've ever had to decent, loving parents or grandparents and it's so painful to see them deteriorate, and as much as I love my Suffolk life, there's a part of me that wishes we lived closer so I could see them more, and be more helpful.
Anyway, on a less melancholy note, I think the reason I'm so enthusiastic about this weekend is that it's MY kind of celebration. All those years of my birthday being a heavy-drinking, over-socialising, out-and-about, DOING SOMETHING kind of shindig was just me doing what I felt I 'should' be doing. As if there was an unwritten manual somewhere that we all had to follow. '25 today? THIS is how you do it...'
Now I'm a bit older, and more settled, and more self-aware, I know what I want to do to be happier, and I know it's ok to do that. Doesn't matter what others think, or what I 'should' be doing, it's about what I WANT to be doing. And I want to be doing this...
And it also has to be said - there is something very special about spending your birthday with your own children. It's yet another glorious gift of parenthood, and that outweighs and overwhelms anything I used to experience with a crowd of 'friends' around me. And that's what I've got this weekend!
So maybe Douglas Adams was right - 42 feels like a pretty cool place to be, to me.

RC 24-1-26

Un-bloody-expected...

A very weird thing has happened. I am feeling content at work. And not just in a 'today is going well' kind of way, but in a 'genuinely, when I look at this as a possible long-term career, I feel kind of happy about it' kind of way. And that has really taken me by surprise. I'm sitting here in my little office, I'm very proud of myself for the way I have taken this role on and made of it what I have over the past couple of years, and I am surprisingly excited by the thought of just being able to keep on doing it, for as long as I'm lucky enough to have it. This is a new sensation for me. I've always been a guy who is looking for the greener grass or finding the negatives in things or just generally feeling unhappy and demoralised, and here I am feeling pretty privileged to be where I am, and genuinely feeling that if being a manager here took me all the way through to retirement, that would be ok.
Weird, but welcome.
And I know this is coming less than a fortnight after I told you that Philippa and I are considering ripping up our home life and moving the family abroad, and I know it's coming in January, which is a typical month for reflection and depression and wild-eyed schemes, and I know I've just had a birthday, and that does weird things to a man's psyche when you get to my age, but still... I've been thinking about it, and meditating on it, and giving it some serious consideration, and I have to say that I am very much content. I'll continue to look for ways to improve things, and we'll continue looking at our little plan to travel away as a family, but I can honestly say that if nothing comes of that, and the next few years sees us staying in our little Suffolk home, and continuing as we are, that would be perfectly acceptable too. And I feel very blessed to be able to say that.

RC 23-1-26

NFL recap/precap

So with last week's predictions I got 3 right out of 4, which I'm happy with. My record in this year's play-offs is now 6-4, giving me a 60% hit rate. Nothing to be overly proud of, but at least I'm getting more than half right. If I can keep that going, I'll be happy. There are only 3 games left, so I only need to get 1 of them correct to guarantee finishing with more than 50%, which should be the absolute minimum I should aim for.
With that in mind, I am foregoing the temptation to make a genuine prediction about what I think might happen this Sunday, and instead I'm taking the 'don't want to lose so pick the favourite' path in an attempt to end the postseason with better numbers, even though it's completely inconsequential and there's no-one I'm competing against. So I'm going for:
PATRIOTS to beat the BRONCOS.
SEAHAWKS to beat the RAMS.
Even though, in my heart, I would love to see Broncos vs Rams in the Super Bowl, and even though I actually, genuinely think Denver are likely to win. I'm sticking to what I'm sticking to, and that's the one above. (Wins for Rams and Patriots).

Two points to finish on: 1. Yes, I am getting stupidly sidetracked by statistics and making this all seem far more important than it is, and 2. Don't ever follow my predictions if you want to make money by gambling.

RC 22-1-26

CAN'T GET GOING (a poem)

I used to be so energetic,
now I've lost my vim.
I watch my son at play and think,
"I used to be like him!"

Daytime is a struggle
til I stumble into night.
It's like I've been defeated,
and I've given up the fight.

I wake up feeling tired,
when I go to bed, I'm beat,
and in the hours in between
I'm dying on my feet.

Life has got me flattened
to the point of giving in.
I took too many punches
on the bottom of my chin.

Everything's exhausting
and a pain - but here's the thing:
I know I'll get my levels back
as soon as it is Spring...

RC 21-1-26

Picks

Ok... I've been struggling with this, having a real Head vs Heart battle, because I know that the 49ers are completely banged up and missing so many players, and yet there's a part of me that thinks they are touched by magic this year and are destined to go on winning.
But, having said that, all things considered, I think I have to go with realistic expectations and say they are going to lose.
So here's my predictions for this weekend's Divisional Round games:

BRONCOS to beat the BILLS
SEAHAWKS to beat the Niners
TEXANS to beat the PATRIOTS
RAMS to beat the BEARS.

And after last week's efforts, if I get 2 out of 4 right I'll be dancing....

RC 17-1-26

New Year???? Not on my watch....

I started off well, and I managed to get it right for the past couple of days, but I notice that when I posted on the 6th, 8th, 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th of January, I signed off the end of the blog with my initials and the corresponding date, but labelled it as 2025.  As they might have said to us in Ireland - "Your man is an eejit..."

Sorry for any confusion, and hopefully I've finally got it ensconced in my head now that it is 2026 and will continue to label blogs accordingly.

RC 16-1-25

No - I'm joking - I meant 16-1-26

RC 16-1-25

Belated NFL recap post

I didn't exactly cover myself in glory with my Wild Card Weekend Predictions, did I? But so what? I'm not paid to be a pundit and it's only a bit of fun, so who cares if I look like an idiot?
Anyway - to the facts. I only got 3 out of 6 right, giving me a success rate of 50%.
So, not exactly Grade A soothsaying by the Rory this time around.
It's a bit annoying, I suppose, when one feels confident in one's ideas and one feels one has a good amount of knowledge about a sport, only to see those pesky American professionals mess up your suggested results, but it's not as if the top pundits ever get these things right, and it's certainly not going to put me off from trying again this weekend. (Divisional Round picks to be made on Saturday - watch this space!)

In other news, I read a weird article in which an American doctor claims that the San Francisco 49ers have had a lot of injuries over the past couple of seasons because they have an electricity substation close to their training ground. How on Earth the proximity of a power plant can cause someone to rupture their Achilles tendon or dislocate their ankle is beyond me but I suppose there will be those that believe him. And inspired by this, I'm going to claim that my recent shoulder soreness is caused by me watching one of their matches while sitting at home in Suffolk. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but no more ridiculous than the original article, right?

RC 15-1-26

New Year Blues?

Mathew seems to be suffering a bit of January downness. Mornings, especially, he has become rather quiet and takes a lot longer to get ready. No child has ever been a huge fan of school, I know, but he has gone from bouncing around the house enthusiastically to moping lethargically around the kitchen, and we're not entirely sure why. We've asked if anything has happened to lessen his enjoyment of school, but it doesn't appear that there's anything going on. So maybe it's just the time of year, and the post-Christmas downturn that lots of us suffer from. I'm hoping he hasn't inherited my SAD issues, so I'm going to keep a close eye on it, but we'll see how he is by the weekend, and if he doesn't pick up we'll maybe have a chat with his teacher to see how he is in class.

In other news, I seem to keep using words that look as if they are nonsensical when I see them, even though I know I have used them correctly. The latest examples are 'manouever' (from yesterday's posting) and 'downness' (from this one). I'm still not convinced that I spelt MANOUEVER right at any point in my musings, while DOWNNESS just looks like an invented word that I've put in a sentence because I'm too lazy to look up what the real one is. And don't get me wrong - I'm not against doing that, and it's a crime I've committed often, but it does bother me a bit when I look at what I've written and feel like I've made a mistake, and it seems to be happening often.
So, any clear guidance on correct usage of either word, and indeed correct spelling, would be very welcome. I would look it up online myself but I just know there would be conflicting statements based on American or British standards and I would just get more and more confused. And also, y'know, I can't really be bothered and it really isn't that important.

RC 14-1-26

The utter joy of a wife who physios

Well, boy do I feel better today. I stumbled home last night, after hardly being able to turn my head safely in the car to look out of the window to check for traffic, to find Philippa waiting with her hands warmed up and a bottle of massage lotion uncorked and loaded. She really is very, very good at this sports therapy stuff and I am so, so lucky to have her! A few little tweaks of a muscle, a weird manoeuver involving my clavicle, and a complicated stretch that was both painful and freeing, and I instantly felt a sense of relief and release. My neck can now move as it is supposed to, I can lift my left arm without feeling as if I've been stabbed in the shoulder, and my pain levels have dropped from 'OUCH' to 'Ok'. I can turn my head without yelping, bend my back without stiffening, and pick up a pen without panting. Thank you, dear Philippa, and the talented lady who trained you.

A week today, by the way, is my birthday. (hint, hint...)

RC 13-1-25

Bloody Hell, I'm feeling old...

I'm having a day of pain today. I think I slept at a weird angle and I've upset that sometimes problematic shoulder area that I've had to get physio for before. I blame the NFL. Being a fan of the 49ers, who are based in California, means that if I want to watch any of their games, I have to stay up quite late. And so it was last night - an important match against the Philadelphia Eagles that finished just before 1am this morning. And I'm not exaggerating when I use that word 'important' - it was the first round of the play-offs, which means we are now in a knockout situation. Lose a game, and the season is over, and fans like myself then have to wait nearly nine months before a chance to cheer them on again in a meaningful game. So I felt compelled and obliged to indulge in caffeine and spend my Sunday sat on the sofa, sampling several snacks and supplementing Sky Sports income with my subscription. My drink of choice, as it has been for most of this Winter, was the rather uncannily delicious Strawberries and Cream Pepsi, which sounds like it should taste like a chemically-induced puddle of sweet vomit, but somehow contains things that make my mouth enraptured, and has therefore become something I buy and consume with the enthusiasm of a hungry lion at an all-you-can-eat gazelle buffet. Normally I'm repulsed by false flavourings and modern sodas, but this one has hooked me like a hungry pike on a fisherman's well-baited line.
But, to return to my original point, I am sitting very, very uncomfortably this morning, and when the act of lifting one's hand to type a few words leaves you wincing with pain and feeling arthritic, then I guess it's time to reach for the ibuprofen and consider getting a massage...

RC 12-1-25

a Sunday poem

There is no special angel
who'll protect you from your fears
There is no shining armoured knight
to lift you up the stairs
There is no millionaire around
to stop you being poor
There is no orange lifeboat
that will take you back to shore
There is no brightly shining star
to guide you on your way
There is no magic button
that will help restart your day
There is no big protective wall
behind which you can hide
There's only what you have in hand
and what you have inside

RC 11-1-25

This year, as ever...

It's always amazed me how quickly the first week or so of January goes by. I think it's something to do with this time being post-Christmas and pre-birthday for me. I'm still stuck in the day-to-day routine of the festivities, and already gearing up for my personal big day, and suddenly - BAM! - it's the 10th of January. (which is also the date when I finally start getting the year right on correspondence and blog sign-offs...)

After the joys of a covering of snow, we've reverted to Typical British Weather. Grey skies, and a lot of sodding rain. I suppose I should be grateful that we got the icy bit while Mathew was still off school, so I could at least pull him along on a sledge a few times, but it's still a bit depressing to be ankle deep in water again and feeling the Winter depression lapping at the shore of my soul.

No big plans for my birthday this year. Philippa has promised to cook something special, and then give me a lovely massage, but I'm not too bothered about doing anything too monumental. The quiet night in will be enough.
Having said that, I've just decided to book the day off work and have a nice spa day somewhere with my wife. How about that for a change of pace midway through a blog posting?

And I haven't ever done this before, as far as I can recall, but I'm going to predict the outcomes of all NFL play-off games this post-season, and see how many I get right. So - here are my Wild Card Weekend Chesworth Choices:
RAMS to beat the PANTHERS
PACKERS to beat the BEARS
JAGUARS to beat the BILLS
EAGLES to beat the 49ers
PATRIOTS to beat the CHARGERS
TEXANS to beat the STEELERS

There...

RC 10-1-25

desolate quiet

It's so, so quiet at work. It's lovely, and I'm not complaining for a second, but it's very, very hard to get the hang of. I could be using this time to get ahead with Summer plans and to make sure we're on top of annual maintenance. But instead, I am catching up on some films I missed over the festive break, and watching a lot of cardistry and magic clips online. And I am eating a lot of salty snacks while doing it. Bad for the blood pressure, I'm sure, but makes a change from the chocolates I've been throwing down my gullet incessantly since Christmas...

RC 9-1-26

apologetic attempt at adjustment

So - what I was trying to say on Tuesday, before tiredness got the better of me, is that Philippa and I had an amazing series of chats about our family life and work situations and came to similar conclusions and it led to some very interesting and potentially exciting plans. Firstly, we're looking very seriously at the idea of taking the boys abroad. To live, that is, rather than just for a holiday. It won't be happening soon, and it isn't a definite thing, but it is certainly a possibility, and one we will be looking into over the coming months. There are lots of things we don't like about our education system, and where it seems to be heading, and so instead of moaning about that or being either angry about it or resigned to it, we are thinking about ways to take them out of it; but we want to do that without detriment to their learning. So being somewhere with decent schooling is top of our research list. There's also the fact that I think I mentioned sometime last year in this blog - my current field of work is one that could be utilised in any manner of locations around the world. Why would we not look to take advantage of that? And if Philippa continues to grow her client base with the therapy stuff here, why couldn't she also be confident of doing that somewhere else? So, it's not as if our jobs are a barrier to us relocating.
Anyway, I don't want to bore you with it too much. I just thought I'd share something with you that has us both very excited and very enthused. Nothing may end up coming of it, but it is so, so important, is it not, to have these little dreams and targets, or we just end up stagnant and sterile.
Of course, this may all just be a reaction to the huge quantities of shortbread and other sugary snacks that I've been feasting on for weeks now, but it's fun to surf along with it while it's happening.

RC 8-1-25

Deep

There have been some very serious discussions in our house over the past couple of weeks or so. GOOD discussions, I should add. Nothing earth-shattering or monumental or causing of imminent changes, but Philippa and I found ourselves out of the usual life/work routine and therefore both able to step back and take stock of what we've been doing, and where we are, and what may lay ahead. Scary stuff if handled incorrectly, but rather important, I think, if a relationship is to continue to grow and adapt and not get stuck in a static, repetitive way of existing that can suffocate both parties and make life unbearable for all around them. As you may know, we have had some rocky little patches during our marriage - as I imagine every single couple to have become wed in the history of mankind have had - but there has never been a serious hint of NOT being together. There have, however, been big changes for both of us over the past few years and it has been great to take the time to talk about that and see where we both are (emotionally and mentally) and make sure we're both happy with the road ahead. And I am happy to report that we are both EXTREMELY happy, if that's not using the same word too many times...
The main adjustment in recent years, of course, (ignoring the obvious one of PARENTHOOD) is that we've both had a change in our careers. I went from retail forecourt management into helping run a holiday park; Philippa has retrained as a sports therapist while also trying to maintain work at the doctors. All while navigating life with two rapidly-growing, gorgeous boys. Busy, busy stuff involving huge shifts in professional mindscape and an oft-changing paradigm domestically.
And I'm going to stop writing now as I've just inadvertently gone into my most hated method of expression - WANKSPEAK. Those last sentences were starting to read like a terrible work memo written by a terrible manager and I will not subject you to such traumas!
See you tomorrow....

RC 6-1-25

First CCCXXXIV words of MMXXV

What a Winter it has been so far. Chaotic days at work, a succession of colds that almost felt like one long bug that just never left my system, and then a simply wonderful Yuletime, where family memories were created that will live forever and bring joy with each remembering. Christmas just gets so much better when you're a parent, and it keeps getting better and better as each year goes by. Mathew, at 7, is absolutely prime age for the whole Father Christmas shenanigans, and little Rian, despite his younger day count and less experience of the whole affair, seemed equally as enthusiastic. I think, at times, he was just going along with his older brother and not really understanding what was happening, but by God we got some wonderful moments with them, and not just on the morning of The Big Day itself. I have hundreds of photos that I could share if I ever decided to make this blog a phlog (or whatever you call a blog with photos attached) but some of the best images in my mind are ones that we never even captured. Rian with a sticky bow stuck to his head after ripping into a loosely wrapped present; Mathew getting so excited when his Aunty Hannah turned up unannounced that he nearly hyperventilated; same son tackling a turkey leg because he wanted to 'eat like Homer'; the look of despair on Philippa's face when the lit brandy set off the smoke alarm; seeing myself in the mirror with tears of joy on my cheeks as the occasion got too much for me. All this and more, rolled into one big week-plus celebration of loveliness that gave us all goosebumps and left us all lethargic and spent.
And now, when we are into a New Year and facing a return to the norm, we have a beautiful covering of snow on the ground to enhance the beauty of the area and to continue the festive feelings.
Good. Times.

RC 5-1-26