Sunday, 21 July 2019

Tired, thrilled, talked out, tired


Today has been, possibly, the best day I’ve had all year. No specific moments rendered it close to perfection, it was just the general scope of the whole day that has led me to feel altogether gorgeous and a little bit – dare I say it – happy. Strange now to think that there was a time when I would feel uncomfortable, inadequate and unwelcome around Philippa’s more sporty friends. It was nothing to do with them, I’ve come to realise, more about my own insecurities and my ability to assume that everyone else thinks about me the same way I do. So I would turn up expecting them to hate me, then keep them at arms-length when they tried to engage, then feel sorry for myself because no-one was talking to me. Thankfully, none of them gave up on me and now I enjoy their company as much as I enjoy the company of anyone. More so, in many cases.
Highlights of the day included seeing Philippa in a swimsuit (obviously), managing to bodysurf my way well up the beach while others around me got stuck on the shingle, and out-quoting everyone else when we indulged in a light-headed game of ‘Appropriate Lines from Jaws’
Most of that won’t make much sense to most of you, and I’m too frazzled to explain it, but if I ever read these blog postings back later in life I’m hopeful I’ll know what I meant, and then smile.

RC 21-7-19

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