Been a very strange week, all told. My life gets so
weird that I sometimes think I’ve been replaced by an alien and I’m the only
person who hasn’t been told. Conversations seem very hard to participate in and
everyone else around me seems to be following a guidance manual that I simply
haven’t been given. At times like these, I thank God I have Philippa. She may
not understand me or have a clue what goes on in my head, but she puts up with
it and with me, even when I’m tired and irritable and floating around
directionless like a confused cloud.
I seem to have been able to keep on top of my work
duties, although I honestly can’t remember anything I’ve done in the past five
days or so. Days drift by without consequence, and evenings are spent watching
my child gurgle and grasp, then concentrating on a film to stop myself thinking
too much, or too little. Since the weekend I’ve watched ‘The Last Witch-hunter’
and ‘The Nice Guys’ and bizarrely I can recall more about both plots than I can
about the 45 hours or so I’ve spent working on stuff for my employers. Strange
how the mind can latch onto necessary distractions when it’s overwhelmed by the
reality of what it’s trying to sort through. Tonight I may watch ‘Furious 7’ or
I might just have an early night.
If I’ve got to the stage where I’m seriously
considering ‘Furious 7’ as an option then maybe it’s time to get help…
RC 30-7-19
No comments:
Post a Comment