Questions, questions, so many questions..

• What would people talk about if they were banned from discussing the weather?
• Why do middle-aged men in pubs spend five pounds on fags and three quid on a pint of beer and then complain that they can’t afford school dinners for their children?
• Why is my hair-line receding faster than Jenson Button in a wind tunnel? Isn’t it enough that I’m overweight, unlovable and uglier than a cross between Princess Anne and a bullock?
• Why does Katie Price have a career?
• Why do women who drive 4x4s in Norfolk assume that everyone else will get off the road for them?
• Why do fat men in their fifties think it’s okay to walk around in a sports vest?
• If we’re really supposed to eat fruit and veg, why don’t they taste like chocolate?
• Where the hell has my sex drive gone?
• Why do ‘fat chance’ and ‘slim chance’ mean the same thing, when ‘fat’ and ‘slim’ are opposites?

RC 26-11-09