I wonder sometimes how something so ever-present can
have become so meaningless in my life. We have televisions in the house, but to
me they are no more than monitors that can be hooked up to other machines so I
can watch films, or play games, on a bigger screen. I can’t remember the last
time I even bothered to look at TV listings, much less actually tune in to
watch a broadcast. I suppose it could be argued that I’m still absorbing the
output. I occasionally find a documentary on BBC iPlayer worth a look, and I
snaffle up the odd series or two from Netflix or Amazon Studios, but television
in the traditional sense has been cast into my past like pocket money and regular
exercise.
I’m sure I’m not alone.
The fact is that so much of what gets churned out as
‘programmes’ is just terrible. So bad that it makes me invent new words and
phrases. Most TV is just bumwrenching arsetrench of the highest order. It used
to be educational, informative and fun. It used to be that programme makers
were more intelligent and more moral than everyday folk and they would try to
show them things that would improve them. Now they seem to be voyeuristic facebook-surfers
who aim their programming nine levels lower than the lowest possible person
that might be watching. They take the worst of society and highlight it, making
it something to aspire to. It’s an ongoing spiral into the basement of
behaviour and I have no interest in watching it continue.
So what is there to be optimistic about? SpringWatch
will be on again soon, but in recent years it’s gone from being a flagship,
topnotch example of exemplary broadcasting by exceptional professionals, to a
poor imitation of an amateur nature-loving YouTuber. I’ll give it a go, but my
hopes aren’t high. Most dramas are rehashes of ‘Morse’ from the 80s or cheaper
versions of American crime shows. Most comedies contain an average of one laugh
per series. Most presenters look like they’ve learnt their craft by watching
1970s washing powder adverts. I really do think it’s a dying medium.
Give me a book, a puzzle, a game or a quiz, and
leave that space on the wall free for a nice family portrait, not a flatscreen
Box of Bollocks.
RC 15-5-20
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