I was wrong

Bloody kids must have got their parents to drive them around to unsuspecting isolated houses.
I hate Hallowe’en.

RC 31-10-14

Time, like a hungry bat, flies..

Another month gone then. Jesus, time flies when you’re distracted by trying really hard to learn a new job. It only feels like a second ago I was turning the calendar over onto ‘October’ and here we are at Hallowe’en.
A good thing about living in a small row of houses in an isolated location is that we should be spared any annoying trick-or-treat callers…

RC 31-10-14

Octaiku, chapter II

Clocks change this weekend
October temperatures
Still warm as Summer

Birds are all confused
‘Shouldn’t we be flying South?’
‘Should we just stay here?’

Soon be Bonfire Night
Kids don’t play with sparklers now
In case they get burnt

My worst drink ever:
Cinzano, pernod and rum,
Mixed with creme de menthe

A TV show says
Hitler was a drug addict.
That may explain things…

RC 23-10-14

Change of mind/scenery/attitude

I have to go away after all. Monday 27th - Friday 31st inclusive.
Head Office in their wisdom have decided that I should spend a week ‘shadowing and observing’ a filling station manager before I start on my own. I’ve basically been doing the job for two weeks, what’s the point of watching someone else? By the time I get back I’ll probably forget what my own garage looks like and not be able to work there effectively. Still - ours is not to reason why, etc, ours is but to do as we’re told and take advantage of the fact that I’ll be staying at a hotel all-expenses-paid in Essex for a week. 

I have to say it’s a lovely feeling to have reached midweek and be thinking ‘Two more days then it’s the weekend!’
I’ve been working on an ever-changing 7-day rota for so long I’d forgotten how much better it is mentally to know you have a 2-day break from work at the same point every week! 
Philippa and I had a gorgeous time on Saturday and Sunday, and what a delight to know we can do it all again this weekend!
Hurrah!

RC 22-10-14

Hyperactive?

I seem to be rattling off a large number of blog posts in October. I need to remember that my target for 2014 was exactly 19 postings every month - if I don’t slow down a bit I’m going to blow my own ambition when I’m only two months away from completing it. Yes - maybe I should delete this one without putting it online, lest I get carried away in the next few days and reach 19 too early, then have no space left to share any vital occurrences or life events that might crop up between now and October 31st. 
Or maybe, now I’ve started and made so much of an effort already, I should just carry on with it and worry about statistics later.
In case you hadn’t guessed, I’ve drunk a lot of coffee this evening. 

RC 21-10-14

Pain in the (c)arse

The drive home from work takes me less than five minutes and I managed to get a sodding puncture!
How can that happen?
I blame farmers with their slow-moving vehicles and hedge-shaking trailers that knock debris and thorny twigs into the road for unsuspecting drivers like myself to encounter. Bastards. Anyway, I struggled to put the spare tyre on and all I suffered was some dirty trousers and a broken nail, so it’s not too bad.  I don’t know where the nearest tyre place is but I’m sure it’s not too far, and once I stop moaning about it in this blog I’ll go online and find one. 

RC 20-10-14

Strange memory

I don’t know why I thought of this while I was enjoying the Indian Summer with Philippa yesterday:

When I was at college, a guy in my physics class called Adam decided to have one of those ill-advised end of term parties. You know the sort of thing - 17-year-olds who have barely sipped alcohol in their lives turn up with enough beer and cider to intoxicate half of Russia and proceed to drink it quicker than an alcoholic would; people end up having sex with people that they wouldn’t want to be in the same room as sober, and normally in a really uncomfortable part of the house; things get broken, stolen and moved around, and the house ends up looking like the end of a really messy poltergeist film. 
Adam made a bigger mistake than most when, in a futile bid to become more ‘cool’ and popular, he printed an open invitation in the college newsletter declaring “Party at my house - bring who you like.” As you can imagine, the local lowlifes and drop-outs soon got wind of it and turned up in their droves. The other big mistake Adam made was using the phrase ‘party at my house’ instead of ‘party at my PARENTS house while they are away overnight on a theatre trip, so please leave everything as you found it or my testicles will end up being used as ear-rings and my parents will ground me for life.’
At least thirty more people than he had expected turned up, and he didn’t enjoy a second of it because while everyone else was whooping it up and having a grand old time, he was desperately trying to keep vomit from landing on the carpet, and semen from landing on the curtains. (Don’t ask).
The following morning, the four of who had stayed over valiantly vowed to help him scrub the house from top to bottom and make it look like something vaguely resembling the house his parents had vacated twenty-four hours before. It wasn’t easy. God knows how the bath ended up stained with boot polish, but I just about managed to get it spotless, and I could only hope the toothbrush I had used and placed back in the cupboard wasn’t used later by his mum or dad, otherwise their teeth may have ended up in serious need of whitening. 
After five hours of intense cleaning, dusting, moving, scraping, binning, hoovering and washing we finally achieved our goal, and all collapsed on the sofa just as his parent’s car pulled into the drive. 
At which point Adam looked upwards - and saw his mum’s prized spider plant sitting in the chandelier in the centre of the ceiling. We had no idea how it got there, and even less idea how to get it back out again.
For all I know, it’s still there now…

Anyway, enough of these reminiscences, I really should be ordering some petrol……

RC 20-10-14

Return of the Mac

Mac ‘Migraine’ Dennis was back on-site today, looking suspiciously like someone who had just got over a hangover. He said ‘well done’ for coping with yesterday, and then tried to cram in as much information and training into seven and a half hours as possible, to make up for what we couldn’t do while he was off. 
I don’t mean to be flippant or arrogant, but I really think this ‘managing a filling station’ lark is going to be quite plain sailing. A lot of the form-filling and rotas and stuff are very similar to the ones I’ve been using at the supermarket, so I can do them in my sleep if necessary. The amount of fuel we order in is pretty much done automatically by the computer system, which records everything we sell hour-to-hour, analyses the patterns and spikes that have happened on certain dates since the garage first opened, compares it to every other garage in the same company, and orders accordingly. Very, very clever stuff and it makes my life a hell of a lot easier. All I have to do is click on ‘Authorise’, ‘Amend’ or ‘Cancel’ and I’m done. The pricing is all decided at Head Office - I just have to change the amounts on the computer and all signage and pumps are updated instantly - and the guys who deliver the fuel are the ones responsible for its safe transfer into our tanks. I just have to watch them and then deal with the paperwork. Like most garages the booth doubles as a small shop, but that’s all controlled by one of the managers in the big store across the road. They decide what to put on display and how much we should charge, and they send over the stock first thing every morning. I just have to make sure someone is designated to put it all out on the shelves and keep a track of what’s sold, and what’s wasted. There is talk of a car wash being built on the back of our building but until that happens, I don’t have to think about it. For now we’re leaving that to the Bulgarian band of brothers that wash cars manually on the supermarket car park twice a week.
It all makes you wonder why the job of ‘Filling Station Manager’ even exists in the first place, but believe me I’m bloody glad that it does!

RC 15-10-14

The manager needs managing

I kind of got dropped in it a bit at the garage today. Mac, the guy training me, decided he needed the day off to recover from a migraine that struck him yesterday afternoon. I was with him yesterday afternoon, and he seemed fine and never mentioned anything about feeling unwell, but maybe one of the symptoms of an impending migraine is that it takes away your ability to express your own pain.
God, I am cynical, aren’t I?
Part of me thinks this was a deliberate ploy by him and those above him to see how I might react in a crisis.  If so, I think I passed with flying colours (once the panic attacks had subsided) as the day went by without a hitch. Mainly, I think, because there isn’t that much to fret about. As long as all the staff turn up (which they did) and they’re all well trained (which they seem to be) and you’ve ordered enough fuel to last the week (which we did) then not much else can go wrong. It’s not like the supermarket where I was constantly having to deal with damaged stock and awkward customers and stoned teenage workers. People just drive in and serve themselves, and then happily queue up at the till to pay over-the-odds for the liquid that gives them the means to travel. 
I have no doubt that there’s more to it than that, and that little things will pop up that are troublesome and that I have to take responsibility for as the manager, but I’ve got time to learn and I’ll always have someone else I can call on for advice (assuming he’s not in bed with a migraine)

RC 14-10-14

How wet can you get?

It’s been a dull, dark, damp, dank, Wintry day in Norfolk.
The rain fell as if God had decided to punish us, and people’s moods reflected the state of the weather.
Here’s some haiku:

The falling hard rain
Seems to dampen people’s souls
and turn their hearts cold

Another new job
Comfort zone non-existent
and so much to learn

Even when it rains
Suffolk is a lovely place
and has nice people

Rainfall makes me low
As if it soaks away hope
and drowns happiness

All today’s haiku
Have “and” as first word, last line
and this is the same

RC 13-10-14

Friday thoughts

End of a tough first week; although it’s not the end as they’ve decided I should go in tomorrow morning to ‘experience the busiest shift we have’ so I can appreciate what goes on at the weekend. People buy petrol and associated products, what more could there be to know? Anyway I have been a good company man and agreed to go along and see what’s what. It’ll give me an opportunity to meet a couple more of the staff that will soon be mine to control. God, that’s a scary thought. My time in management has always been as a buffer between the real boss and the workforce, or as a stand-in when the real power was off; this will be my first full-time encounter with ultimate responsibility!!
Oh well - if it gets too much I can quit and go back to the supermarket!!!!!!!
That’s enough exclamation marks for one blog, I think.
After spending the morning at the garage, with the weather anticipated to be ‘warm and bright’ I shall be joining my beloved to go on a little road trip exploring the beaches of Suffolk, with a view to some weekend camping trips next Summer. Haven’t we come a long way as a couple? Now we finally have a settled location, and now I finally have a job with more sociable hours, we are daring to look ahead with something other than fear and uncertainty, and make plans! If this goes on I might even be willing to talk about a wedding. (But I wouldn’t hold your breath)

RC 10-10-14

I was right, and yet I was wrong

It WAS a mistake by the Housesitting Agency. I called today and spoke to Harriet, who giggled and said “What a silly mare I am. I must have phoned you by accident. I meant to phone the Joneses, and your names are very close to each other in the alphabet.”
I said “No they’re not, my name’s Chesworth”
She giggled and said “Well, I must have looked the number up under the house owners name”
I said “I doubt it. They’re called Bannerman, that’s even further away”
She giggled and said “What a silly mare”
There are many things I could have called her, but ‘silly mare’ would not be one of them.
Anyway, I shared the whole affair with Philippa tonight and she said “I wish you’d told me about the message last night. I thought this relationship was being based on honesty and open-ness?”
I said “Well, I didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily”
She said “But now, until I learn to trust you completely again, I’ll be thinking that you might be keeping something else from me, so in that regard you ARE causing me unnecessary worry” 
And that was the end of that for the evening.
So now I’m sitting on my own trying to work out which was the worst thing to hit my ears today - Harriet’s giggle or Philippa’s silence. 

RC 9-10-14

Please, no...

I came home this evening to find what may be a potentially very disturbing message on our ansaphone. It was Harriet, one of the incompetent wenches at the Housesitting Agency.  “Just to keep you up to speed. The homeowners haven’t settled too well at their new location and are looking at the possibility of returning earlier than planned. They’re going to give it another month before they decide. Bye!!”
Just when you thought it was safe to start feeling a bit settled, someone comes along and kicks you in the nutbits.  Isn’t that the story of our relationship? 
I’m thinking it likely that they’ve made a mistake. This is, after all, the Agency that forgot to tell us we’d been accepted as tenants in the first place, and the Bannermans seemed so certain they were making the right decision, and so determined to see it through come-what-may, that I can’t believe they might be changing their minds already. I’m going to call Harriet tomorrow and get some clarification.
In the meantime, I see no reason to bother Philippa with this occurrence, so please don’t tell her what I’ve told you.

RC 8-10-14

Deep end

Have I bitten off more than I can possibly chew? Maybe I was a bit naïve, but I didn’t realise just how many rules and regulations and safety considerations there are when you’re the manager of a filling station attached to a supermarket. 
I feel as if the truth has slapped me round the face like a Victorian lady who has had her ankles stared at.
I guess training for a new job can be a bit overwhelming like this. Hopefully things will settle down as the days goes by and then the stuff I had thrown at me today will all start to make sense. At the moment, I just feel like a bathtub that is full to overflowing with water, and yet someone is still trying to pour more water in the top and hoping none of it spills all over the floor.
I think I need a drink, and some food, and a cuddle from my beloved. And maybe a Laurel and Hardy DVD to take my mind off things and cheer me up.

The bathtub, by the way, represents my mind, with the water representing the information that is being poured into it. Just in case that wasn’t clear….

RC 7-10-14

Bladderful of Rosie

Busy day, but not too heavy.
My trainer - a Welshman in his fifties called Mac Dennis - wanted to ease me in gently so we had a cuppa, then wandered around the store meeting people, then had a cuppa in the canteen, then met the store manager, then had a cuppa with him in his office, then went back to the canteen for lunch. The afternoon was spent at the garage itself, looking at the layout of the merchandise and talking a lot about how to plan how much fuel to order day-to-day. And drinking lots of tea. 
Tomorrow we should get down to the ’nitty-gritty’ of the legal side of petrol control and management (or something). 

In other news, it took me three minutes and twenty four seconds to get from the end of our drive to the car park entrance, and it took me four minutes and one second to get home. I love this new job already.

RC 6-10-14

First day of... whatever

I start my training fully today, and the good news is it’s all on-site. Originally they had said they wanted to send me away, but because there isn’t a manager in situ at present they’ve decided the guy training me can be stand-in manager at the same time as training me up, then when I’m ready he can step aside and leave me in charge, thereby facilitating a smooth handover process. (And, of course, saving themselves some money at the same time. This company is nothing if not frugal)
I am neither nervous nor excited, and that’s very weird. I think I’m just so relieved to have made a change that I’m floating on a cloud of indifference while reality carries on somewhere far below me. As a result, today may turn out to be a rude awakening or a pleasant surprise, but I really don’t mind which. 

RC 6-10-14

The joys of a weekend sans work

October has started like a beautiful return to Spring. Temperatures in the late teens, lots of wildlife floating about and sunsets to warm the very soul of Man.
Philippa and I took advantage today by having a lovely walk and a lovely pub lunch. She says I’m like a new man. I argued that I’m the same man, but that I’m visible again after being hidden beneath the outer crust of a hardened, twisted, over-worked shell for the past few years. She said she was confused, and could we please order dessert?
I had a rather gorgeous peach melba cheesecake; Philippa enjoyed the trifle. 

RC 4-10-14

Rut unstuck

I sometimes think October is my favourite month. I love the colours, the changes and the cuddles-to-keep-out-the-cold. Or maybe I just love it this year because I have this wonderful sense of freedom emanating from every atom in my body. It’s so nice to be free of the shackles of working at a place where your hours have to cover 6am - midnight 7 days a week. You never get a chance to own a particular time or a particular day because from one week to the next you have to change your life to suit your schedule. What a shitty way to live.
Do you notice I’m free from it now, but I’m still going on about it? Shows you how deep those wounds run, and how long it may take me to fully recover. 
I’m confident though that, with a few weekends off under my belt and a regular routine established, I’ll be settled and sorted by the end of the year…..

RC 3-10-14

Octaiku

Autumn in Norfolk:
Brilliant colours abound;
The air feels cooler.

RC 2-10-14