Shit Marriage Guidance Poem

If you put the cart before the horse
You may well end up facing a divorce

That's not a great start to a poetic endeavour

But may be one of my best rhymes, ever!

So don't get carried away with spite

Or you'll go to bed tasting bile each night

Talk through your problems as you go along

And you and your partner can never go wrong

Keep the flame burning, keep up the hugs

Love all the smiles, ignore all the shrugs

Be with the best friend that you'll ever know
Face it together and let the love grow

RC 31-7-23

"Saloon Story"

 

A wanker in a wine bar

Sitting, sipping; staring at the waitress

Convincing himself he's charming

Convinced he can convince her to undress

 

She takes his order

Writing, reciting; rolling her eyes

Ignoring the ignorant ignobility

Of his hand lightly brushing her thighs

 

A smitten chef in the kitchen

Preparing, producing; protecting of her troop

She serves the sod his starter

Saliva and broccoli soup

RC 28-7-23

Only a few days to go

 

Poetry in motion

Causes emotion

Can't take a potion

To cure this ill

 

Love is a battle

Treat me like cattle

Make my heart rattle

Do what you will

 

Walk like a sailor

Shoot like a whaler

Fit like a tailor

Feel the chill

 

Keep me enchanted

Give what you granted

Seeds have been planted

Show me your skill

 

Never say never

Feels like forever

Cupid is clever

I love you still

RC 27-7-23

July 26th's poem...

TITLE: "Yes?"

 

Life became a chore

I didn't want it anymore

My heart, soul and body

Lying broken on the floor.

The way ahead was black

Everything was way off track

and health, hope and friendship

were all things I seemed to lack.

Every day was bleak

My whole world was past its peak

So money, drugs and goodbyes

were the things I sought to seek.

 

Then God put you on my path

and you taught me how to laugh

and my love, hope and wisdom

were as high as a giraffe.

You showed me how to care

I felt feelings reappear

and tomorrow and tomorrows

were no longer things to fear.

And now my life is rosy

sitting here with you all cosy

and I must admit, my darling

I am feeling quite propose-y.

 

Lost my way a bit in the last couple of lines, but at least it ended cheerier than it started...

RC 26-7-23

Into last week of poems now...

"Never Again" (for Joshua)

I won't be stuck

with a wound that won't heal

Won't be used, abused or confused

by one who can't feel

 

I won't be alone

while surrounded by you

Won't still be ill, with a chill

now I've started anew

 

I won't be downtrodden

with a subdued soul

Won't be made heartless

by a heartless arsehole

 

I won't be the person

you forced me to be

No, Never Again

From now on - I'll be Me.

RC 25-7-23

'A Story (of sorts)'

 

A wet weekend

A lonely life

A distant drive

A worried wife

A perfect poem

A silent song

A foolish fight

A rueful wrong

A darker day

A naughty night

A perfect place

A leading light

A gorgeous girl

A lucky lad

A final fling

A different dad

RC 24-7-23

And back to the crapoems...

Breaking bad Limerick #2

There once was a dealer called Jesse

Whose life was a little bit stressy

Then he met Mr White

And their cook went alright

And his life got incredibly messy

RC 20-7-23

Taking a break from the poetry

I'm proud of my efforts so far this month. I've already written far more poems than I thought I would do in the whole of July, and we've still got more than a week to go. And I've been writing them in amongst other life stuff going on; it's not as if I've been sat by a river with a notepad for hours every day gaining inspiration from Nature and then putting this stuff together. I have surprised myself with my abilities, and also (humbly speaking) with the quality of what I've written. Let's not get carried away, I'm not going to win any prizes or get approached to be Poet Laureate, but I think some of my verses are quite well crafted, and some of my output is worthwhile, and might even mean something to the odd reader or two.
So I'd quite like to keep on doing it. Don't worry, I won't keep publishing them all here as postings. This blogsite isn't going to become a wanky self-indulgent ode-fest. But I have felt the benefit of the creative process, and the cathartic feeling that comes from composing your thoughts and feelings into prose form, and I think I'd like to keep doing that. Whether it will happen without the pressure of a self-imposed blog challenge or not I don't know, but I guess we'll find out in August.

RC 19-7-23

Crapoems continue

An open door

leads to a broken garden

Leaves strewn

haphazard lawn

Uncut, unkempt, uncombed

 

Such is the way of my mind

A gardenlike web

Twisted thoughts like twisted branches

Untidy edges and uneven growth

 

Effort is the answer

Work brings rewards

Chores bring changes

 

A mower, a rake and a hoe

A journal, a chat and a therapist

TLC for outside, CBT for in

Remove the moles from the lawn

Remove the worms from the memory

Remove the weeds from both

 

A home is like a heart

A garden is like a conscience

Tend to both

Tend to be better

RC 18-7-23

This poem is untitled...

I'm pretty sure you could put these verses in any order and it would still (kind of) make sense.

 

I feel a little lost without you

Sitting by the river alone

The water looks so inviting

But I don't wanna swim on my own

 

I feel a little dead without you

Empty as a devil's soul

Our future looks so exciting

But it's all out of my control

 

I feel a little scared without you

My stomach and mind in knots

Everything feels enticing

But I don't know what it is we've got

 

I feel a little wrong without you

Unsettled and unaware

It's only myself that I'm fighting

But I seem to be lost in fear

RC 17-7-23

Sunday's poem...

Breaking Bad Limerick #1

There once was a lawyer called Saul

who can handle all things, large or small

So if your name is Walt

and you've done an assault

Then you know who you had Better Call

Just another poem

This is called "Poem for my friend Samantha"

You've got a lot going on

Lots of changes, all at once

Relocation

Renovation

 

Family matters

Car troubles

Work woes

Health stress

Lots to process

Wishing for less

Making the best

Of a murky mess

 

Sometimes hot, sometimes tepid

Always with a racing mind

Despair battling hope

Tiredness battling necessity

 

Nowhere to turn

No-one to turn to

Nothing to anchor to

But there will, in time, be a time

That is your time.

 

I'm not sure these are getting any better, are they???

RC 15-7-23 

Haiku is poetry too, so...

Summertime swimming

The cool sea stops me sweating

and brightens my mood

 

I love barbecues

Slightly burnt, smoky burgers

the taste of Summer

 

A month of poems

Fuelling creativity

But taxing my brain

 

A walk in the woods

A way to a smiling face

And bad hay fever

 

The best things in life:

Any song by The Beatles

or Ryan Adams

RC 14-7-23

The Crapoems continue...

I am enjoying my little burst of poetry, but I realise I am getting into the habit of not blogging normally, and so I may find it difficult to get my arse back into some kind of regular routine when this whole month-long burst of Bardness is behind me. So it may well be that I just carry this on, and just use this blogsite as a dumping ground for my poor attempts at verse indefinitely. I mean, I'm sure I'll get back to boring you with my everyday life eventually, but it's rather repetitive at the moment because work is so busy. So, I need to consider whether you would prefer shitty poems or shitty moans, and I need the time to think about that before deciding how to proceed with things. It's also quite likely that my creative endeavours will just run out of steam naturally at some point, and I'll have to retire my writing pen anyway. That could well happen.

But for now, let us plough on...

Today's poem is called: "Why Wait?"

 

Time marches on

Like an army of relentless seconds

I watch my life drip through the hourglass

Moments becoming memories

Days becoming distant

Present becoming past

Thoughts rise and fall in an instant

then dissipate and disappear

We plan, we postpone, we procrastinate

We hold back, hold fire, hold on to the familiar

We let 'What If' sabotage 'What Is'

We do not dare to dream

for fear of falling flat

We accept our lot and resign ourselves to it

when we should resign from the position imprisoning us

A good life is for others

Those who are better, richer, 'together'

A nicer life is not for us

We are weak, undeserving, incapable

As we get older, we get safer

our choices become less chancy

'Maybe when I'm 30' becomes 'Maybe when I'm 50'

'I could do' becomes 'I should have'

In one blink, one breath, it's all over; too late

So why wait?

 

RC 13-7-23

 

P.S. "Verse Indefinitely" will be a great title for my first published anthology of poems. (Watch this space for details)

Crapoem no. {whatever number I'm up to}

This poem is called: "A Cheery Story"

The open road is calling

Potholes deep and dusty verges

Nighttime temperatures falling

As the path of two cars converges

 

Different drivers, both confused

One old, myopic, tired

Different mindsets, both abused

One young, celebratory, wired

 

Blinding lights from top of hill

Where, luck so bad, they meet

Each guilty of a single kill

Blood on the quiet street

RC 12-7-23

Poem written at 2am (so don't expect much)

Hope hangs in the air like a fly strip.
Summer brings a multitude of visitors.

Some welcome.

Many not.

 

Sunkissed sunbathers saunter in the shine 

Seeking shelter in the shadows

Somewhere someone sees a significant sign

Signalling something spectacular

 

Somehow the sea seems seemly

Seams of waves shatter the shoreline

Steeping the sand in soakedness

Simultaneously silent and shocking

 

Alliteration is lazy poetry.

And I may have invented some words in these verses.

But sod it.

Shakespeare and Dahl both did it.

So give me a break.

RC 11-7-23

Monday Missive

What a lovely weekend that was. Busy day at work on Saturday, but ended it with a dip in the sea. Much needed it was too, after the humidity, closeness and heat of the day. I am absolutely NOT going to make this a post about the British climate once again, but hasn't it felt like we've moved the whole country abroad somewhere? So very hard to breathe, and I've been having two or three showers a day just to feel fresh. I'm loving it, though. It's so much nicer than shivering and wrapping up in layers, and people enjoy their holidays so much more when they're getting proper holiday weather.

Today's crapoem is called: "Work Day's End"

Muscles aching, from exertion extended
Brain strained, from thought thoughts
Energy sapped, from difficult dealings
Soul satisfied, from efforts appreciated

RC 10-7-23

Crap posting, and a Crapoem

I may have sorted my formatting issue, and it turns out it may have been my fault. I can't be bothered to go into details, and it really doesn't matter anyway, and I don't suppose the font size is the important thing when (if) you read this blogsite, I imagine the content is far more important than the aesthetics. But I thought I'd tell you anyway.
And now I shall return to the poetry.

This one is called "Terrible Attempt At Romantic Rhyming"

Imagine a new couple, sitting together on the beach after a Summer swim, with one of them trying to explain their feelings to the other:

 

The sea is so blue

The sky is..... also blue

I don't love the heat

But I love you

The heat makes me prickly

And brings out a rash

and I cool off my skin

In the waves as they crash

I have to buy tablets

to calm down my hives

while others enjoy

the best day of their lives

The beach makes folk happy

They sit in the sun

with picnics and beer

having family fun

But for me it's like torture

it buggers my skin

I go red and blotchy

from ankle to chin

So you see, I'm uncomfortable

sitting on sand

But I'm glad to be here

Coz I'm holding your hand

RC 6-7-23

New Month Crapoem, 4

I have no idea what is going on with the formatting of these blog posts, but I have decided to stop getting wound up by it all and just plough on regardless...

 

So - Another poem:

I haven't really decided whether this one is a collection of mini-odes written in a list, or one big rambling poem...

 

Two thousand years and counting.

How much progress has been made?

Eight billion souls searching for answers.

Dreams more important than air.

 

I look at the Summer sky.

I feel the Summer rain.

I wish for a Summer romance.

Futile.

 

Daylight penetrates the darkened windows.

A soldier, undressed, mourns his lost rifle.

Twins, distanced by different adoptions, experience simultaneous toothache.

I watch, exasperated, as my child's ice cream melts to the floor.

RC 4-7-23

New Month Crapoem, 3

Might as well keep this little run going:

 

Keep the home fires burning

Keep the burning real

Keep the music turning

Keep the way you feel

Keep the feeling flowing

Keep the flow undammed

Keep the passion growing

Keep the bank unscammed

Keep the scammers loyal

Keep the depths unmined

Keep the Palace Royal

Keep the hearts entwined

Keep the guitar strumming

Keep the boats in port

Keep the blog posts coming

Keep the poems short

RC 3-7-23

New Month Crapoem, 2

Another poem for you then.
I'm calling this one:  'My Marriage (Maybe)'

Great minds think alike
Great bodies intertwine
A life balanced on a tandem bike
Perfect, poised, fine

RC 2-7-23

New Month Crapoem, 1

I've decided to try my hand at poetry again throughout July. Doesn't mean I'm posting a daily poem, but I've challenged myself to write a few during the month.
For this first one, I'm just going to start typing and see what comes out...

Tell me something lovely.
Something.
Anything.
Tell me my eyes sparkle like stars, or my lips are made to be kissed.
Tell me, because I need to hear it.

Take me somewhere beautiful.
Somewhere.
Anywhere.
Take me to an island where lava tumbles steamily into the sea, or the Moon looks bigger than a mountain.

Tell me something will change.
Anything.
Everything.
Tell me my heart won't be broken slowly, or my soul crushed beneath yours, or my hope dashed on the rocks like a wayward sailboat.

Take me somewhere new.
Anywhere.
Nowhere.
Take me to an oasis built just for us, or a cave where the lies and the past can't find us.
Take me to our future.

Tell me something new.
Unspoken.
Undamaged.
Tell me your mistakes are over, and your repetitive regrets are behind us.

Tell me the truth.
And mean it.

RC 1-7-23