Weirdreams - Ultimate Champion

I've had some odd shit thrown at me while asleep by my subconscious film factory, but I think last night's may be the weirdest EVER.
I was swimming in a pool that was full of what I think was Fanta. It was orange and bubbly and was making my eyes sting. It was also full of waves, so may have been the sea pretending to be in a pool. As I approached the shallows, I realised that I was actually swimming in a large church, and as I emerged the water onto the shore, I realised I was dressed as a ballerina, and I got really upset that my tutu was wet. And when I say 'really upset' I mean I was shouting in the face of the vicar, accusing him of ruining my chances of an Olympic medal. The vicar, by the way, was George Clooney, who had a bushy 'Mexican bandit' style moustache. He was awful naked from the waist down. Someone handed me a towel and as I stepped out of the church doors, I looked up to see three different moons in the sky, one of which was bright green, and I thought to myself "Well, that's climate change for you."
Odd.....

RC 31-7-22

Coming soon - Chesworth #4

I had an emotional hour or so this morning when it really hit me that I'm going to be a dad again. Don't get me wrong, it sunk in ages ago, but the reality of it caught me off guard and got me excited and tearful. And by 'reality' I mean the fact that there is a brand-new person slowly materialising inside my wife, who we will get to meet in a few months. He or she will be a useless blob for a while, but will soon become their own little body with their own personality and will bring untold joys and anxieties and adventures into our lives. We don't know anything about them yet, but we will before the end of year. And that's amazing. When Philippa was pregnant with Mathew, the bit after the birth wasn't really something I was able to comprehend. I was so obsessed with getting her through the full term without issues, and so aware of the dangers involved in any birth, that what would follow afterwards - the bit with an actual person to look after - hadn't really entered my head. And that, of course, is the great bit.
So this time I am watching my wife's body change daily and feeling my excitement levels rising at the same time as her bra size. Because I know what this is all leading to, and I know what a life-changing and life-enhancing thing it is, and I can't wait for it to happen again!
And, if it's another boy, I have already settled on a name - NICOLAS GENE CHESWORTH.
I haven't run it by Philippa yet, but I'm sure it'll be okay....

RC 29-7-22

The (occasional) Hell of Being Me

My brain is a weird, twisted device, and it likes to torture me.
For about an hour today, I was actually thinking about Winter.
It's the first week of the Summer holidays, the temperature recently has been touching the 40s, I'm wearing the thinnest clothing I own, and my mind is telling me that it won't be long until we're wrapped up in jumpers and driving home in the dark.

RC 28-7-22

This time tomorrow, it'll be the same time as now

Work is crazy. We've been at full capacity for a couple of months, but now the schools are closed we have children accounting for 70+% of our onsite population. It's all screaming with excitement, running around like headless chickens, and tantrums when they can't have an ice cream.
I actually had a parent complaining to me today about the prices on our 'Ice Cream Bike'. If I haven't mentioned it before, it's one of those trade bicycles with a big coolbox on the front, and we have someone ride it around the site so people who are relaxing in their caravans can have access to Summer treats without having to walk to our main buildings. A large gentleman from the Bristol area had a go at me today, saying 'This holiday is expensive enough without coughing up five quid for a tub of Neapolitan.' I explained that our supplier is an International Award Winner, and that the ingredients include full fat Cornish cream and real fruit pieces from local orchards, and that if he wanted a cheaper option, he could purchase a normal Whippy style cone from one of our booths for less than two pounds. He called me 'a Capitalist cockroach' (or possibly 'a Capitalist cockhead' - I couldn't hear properly as he was walking away from me by then. Either way, I really couldn't care less.)

RC 27-7-22

This time yesterday I posted exactly 250 words!

This may come across as a bit moany, but I'm getting really rather fed up with being stuck in traffic due to roadworks. Everywhere I go there seem to be temporary lights. Every journey seems to involve navigating my way through at least three diversions, convoys or Stop/Go set-ups. I know no-one was allowed to work during the lockdowns, but surely we're not still catching up with the projects that were delayed by the pandemic? No-one was going anywhere for months on end, surely they could have had the workforce out there taking advantage of the quiet roads to get some vital repairs done? Is that too sensible an idea for our esteemed leaders?
But as I said at the start - I don't really want to come across as moany. I always feel a bit better after having a little online rant though, so I'm glad I did it. It's like that old saying - 'A problem shared is a problem spread.'

 

In other news - there seems to be a lot of excitement about the Women's Euros semi-final tonight. I'm not always up to date with all these things, but I understand the England ladies have a very good chance of reaching the final of a major championship. I wish them well.....

RC 26-7-22

This time last week it was 37C!

Yesterday was another hot one, but of course that's a relative term after recent meteorological events. I think I'm still recovering from the 'heatwave' last week and that's why yesterday felt like such a trial. As soon as the mercury hit 25, my body went 'oh shit, here we go again' and went into 'over-reaction / heat-protection' mode. I felt lethargic, unenthusiastic and anxious.
One thing I have re-learnt this weekend is that I definitely prefer beach visits in the evening. The main heat of the day is gone, there are less people around and the Sun is not so powerful. It's relaxing, rather than scorching. We met up with Philippa's sporty chums for a day on the sand and I found everything from noon to 3pm rather unpleasant. We had a little beach tent set up to give Mathew some shade and I spent most of my time laying inside it keeping myself safe.  I ventured out once or twice, for a swim or to play bowls, and each time the sand was hotter and my feet felt sorer. I may have inadvertently returned to my 'Grumpy Old Man In His Thirties' persona that floats to the surface in times of physical stress.
Thankfully, its cooler today and my mood has improved accordingly.
Sorry if this entry hasn't made sense. I've been writing it bit by bit in between phone calls and I'm still getting back into the swing of it after a few days off from the blogsphere.

RC 25-7-22

Ignoring the heat...

The name MILLICENT seems to have become an unexpected, but serious, consideration if we happen to have a daughter later this year.
I've put BERYL quite high up on the list too, for obvious reasons. I have to report, though, that MACY remains the firm favourite at this point.

RC 20-7-22

You could fry an egg on my arse cheeks

Great day for the air conditioning unit in our breakfast bar to break down.....
But kudos to the maintenance dudes, who got a part delivered by courier and had it all fixed and running again by lunchtime. Obviously, there were a couple of visitors who tried to get some freebies by way of an apology, but the temperature never got above 23C, so I sent them on their way with little more than a smile.
I do love Summer, and I swore I would never complain about the heat, but these past two days have pushed me pretty close to the edge. We're just not designed to deal with being this hot, are we? People are asking me simple questions this afternoon and I'm struggling to remember where my shoes are, much less be able to answer coherently. Thank God it's supposed to be cooler tomorrow...

RC 19-7-22

Hot as F***

Well, no-one dropped dead with heat exhaustion today, but it was certainly an interesting day. To give people credit, most of our residents were very sensible and kept out of the Sun at the hottest times, but there were still some idiots who decided to carry on as if it was 18 Celsius and cloudy. What can you do? We're not Climate Police and we're not Primary School teachers and we're not empowered to force people to stay in the shade. All we can do is offer advice and make suggestions and then it's up to people how they act.
Tomorrow should be even hotter, so we'll see how we get on then...

In other news, being pregnant in hot weather is obviously quite unpleasant, because Philippa has been in a foul mood since yesterday lunchtime.

RC 18-7-22

Beat the Heat!

We hoiked it beachward for an early visit today, getting there ahead of the anticipated 'Death Valley Temperature Spike'.
I know we have to be careful this week, and I know this is something we're not used to dealing with, but I have to say that the coverage of it and the scaremongering has gone a bit over the top. It's almost like the 'Doomsaying' attitude that ran rife during the pandemic is still alive and well and dominating the British media. Yes, 38 Celsius is more than we're used to, but it's only a few notches on the thermometer above what we had a couple of weeks ago. Surely we can put up with 72 hours of Meditteranean-style Summer before we face yet another shitty, wet August? Countless people schlep over to Turkey and Greece every year (pandemic notwithstanding) and it's 40+ over there for months at a time. Tourists cope. Why shouldn't they survive when they face that same climate at home? I had BBC Radio 5Live on at work since Thursday, to listen to the excellent coverage of The Open, and every news bulletin from midday Friday to 9pm Saturday was EXACTLY the same. Just re-stating the same old shit about a Red Weather Warning and what might happen and WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!
Stop worrying about it, prepare for it as best you can, then ride it out until Wednesday.

Anyway, enough of that - back to today's beach trip. We swam, we made sandcastles, we dealt with Mathew's hatred of trying to eat snacks with sandy hands, and we got back home before the rush of lunchtime beach raiders and before the onslaught of oven-like warmth.  Marvellous.

RC 17-7-22

Is senility finally getting him?

I had an interesting chat with my old friend Ted ('old friend' in every sense) today about the golf. Part of it went like this:
TED - "The Open is a British Championship, and it should always have a British winner. I think they should set a rule that only British players can enter."
ME - "What about the US Masters, then? Should they ban all players except Americans?"
TED - "Of course not. That's a stupid idea."

RC 16-7-22

Mourning from the morning

I hadn't realised last night that my wet shorts had soaked through the towel I was sitting on and had made the driver's seat wetter than a mermaid's bathtub. So I started my day today by climbing into the Rorymobile, resplendently presented in a nice suit, only to end up with a wet patch on my arse and thighs. So, back into the house I went, to change into a new pair of trousers, and to help myself to a bin bag to sit on to prevent a repeat occurrence. Philippa laughed like a tickled hyena. 

Psychologically, it affected me all day. I was slightly pissed off, slightly off my game, and slightly embarrassed. If it had happened at night and I had gone straight to bed, I'm sure I would have woken up without any after-effects at all. I'm equally sure that, if I was in the right frame of mind to start with, and if I had laughed at my own misfortune, as my wife did, then my day would have gone swimmingly and in a light-hearted fashion. But because I allowed it to tip me into Glumness, it's been hovering over me since like a dense fog. 
I'm sure there's a lesson to be learnt here, but I don't know if I'm humble enough to learn it.

RC 15-7-22

Dripping like a dunked dog

In what was possibly the best decision I have made all year, I legged it to the beach after finishing work and dove headfirst into the sea. God, it felt good.
Only problem was, in my excitement I completely forgot to take a change of clothes and a towel, so I then had an embarrassed, wet walk back across my place of work to my car. I needn't have worried though, there were so many people doing a similar journey that no-one gave two tiny shits what I was up to, and if anyone recognised me, they didn't show it, or react. No doubt there will be CCTV footage of a member of Senior Management climbing into his car in a state of undress, but I am increasingly realising in this job that when people are on holiday, their usual convictions about what's socially acceptable go completely out of the window, so I really don't think anyone will care.

RC 14-7-22

Wilting, and Quilting

I've changed my shirt twice today, just to try and appear clean and professional, rather than like an unfit slug that's just run a marathon.
It seems ridiculous to say this, but most of my afternoon was spent talking to people about Christmas. Gavin, now he's putting a lot of his own attention into the new hotels, has agreed to let me go ahead with my plan to create more use of the sites over Winter. We have a lot of permanent residents, but we also have a lot of 'dead weeks' with hardly any visitors, so I want to open our buildings up to be used by local groups during the quiet months. We have to keep some staff on anyway to keep things ticking over and to look after the live-ins, so why not give them things to do that might bring in a little extra income? So far, I've had interested responses from the Women's Institute, from craft clubs and from a few bands who might want to put on 'try out' nights in a proper club setting. I'm also in negotiations to turn one of our smaller buildings into a bit of a Santa's grotto, with activities and entertainment, so that families don't just turn up and wait for an hour for their children to have a 5-minute chat with Father Christmas, they get to have a fun experience that's full of Christmas joy and gets them really fired up for The Big Day. I'm not sure I'll get that one off the ground this year, though, and I'm not sure I really want to keep thinking about it in the middle of July, so I think we'll park that one there and move on....

RC 13-7-22

Proper Summer Weather

It's actually quite nerve-wracking being part of management at a holiday venue when the temperature is touching the 30s. I'm constantly worried that someone is going to pass out with heatstroke, or burn themselves on something hot in the playground, or get horrendous sunburn and sue us for not protecting them. I'm not sure what we can do to avoid all that, but people do seem reluctant to take responsibility for themselves these days, and when at least one third of our current residents are children, it's hard not to feel anxious about it all. So every outside table has a parasol, there are warning signs up on anything that might become hot to the touch, and I'm walking around like an overprotective parent making sure that nothing is melting.

RC 12-7-22

A rare vindication for Rory

My 'Coping With Covid Protocols' that I put together over the quiet Winter months, which my colleagues mocked me for as they said they wouldn't be needed by Summer 2022, have been put into effect this past week and have been proved to be successful! We had a little 'mini outbreak' of sorts, with a couple of families and a member of staff all testing positive on the same day, so we upped the cleaning schedule and gave free LFTs to everyone they had been in close contact with, and gave people designated seating and designated servers in the eating areas over the weekend. Gavin had always worried that we'd cause a panic and get bad publicity if we tried something like this, but actually everyone was really appreciative of our extra efforts and thanked us for our honesty when we informed them of the situation. No-one moaned about having their arrangements changed very slightly, no-one said we'd ruined their holiday, they just quietly got on with what we asked them to do then happily got on with their lives.

I guess we've all got so used to doing nothing over the past two years that small inconveniences are a small price to pay if it means we can get back to doing what we used to. The families that we asked to isolate for a few days were fine about it all, too. The mum, especially, was worried about spreading anything and causing problems for other groups, and they were overjoyed when we said they could come back later in the year, for free, as a thank you. "I don't think there's anywhere else in Britain that is offering something like said," she said, with tears in her eyes. 

Now isn't that worth more, publicity-wise, than trying to avoid bad publicity by doing nothing? I think so.

RC 11-7-22

Final Day Court Thoughts

The big revelation for me at Wimbledon this year has been the wheelchair tennis. Good on the BBC for showing so much of it. And huge kudos to Alfie Hewett for his efforts over the weekend. It seemed as if every time I turned on the telly, there he was playing tennis. The final today between him and the Japanese world no.1 Kunieda was insanely good.

It was good to see a new face in the main Men's final, especially an unorthodox one like Nick Kyrgios. When the semi-finals were over, I'm not sure the Wimbledon traditionalists knew who to root for less. Djokovic has never exactly been the most popular player on Centre Court, but Kyrgios is so anti-establishment he causes hives.

Doubles is much more fun to watch than Singles.

I promise to get back to more regular, less Sports-based blogging this week. That's assuming I don't die of heatstroke overnight. Bit warm here in Suffolk.

Hope this all made sense. I'm out of practice, and it's 28 degrees, so I'm struggling.

RC 10-7-22

Unexpected trick shot

On a lunch break, I am watching the Wimbledon Women's quarter-final between Ajla Tomljanovic of Australia and Elena Rybakina of Kazakhstan. Bouncing the ball while preparing to serve, Tomljanovic has just thrown the ball onto her own foot and watched as it trickled away across the baseline.
I have never seen that happen before on a tennis court!

RC 6-7-22

Court thoughts

I'm not seeing as much of Wimbledon as I would like, but what I am seeing, I am enjoying. Gone are the days when I could lock myself in my office at a supermarket filling station to do 'administrative duties' and spend the afternoon watching tennis on my computer. So I'm not quite as 'on it' as I would like to be. But I'll do my best with a bit of a 'First Week Review':

Cameron Norrie looks like a different player from a year ago. Amazing what a bit of confidence from a few good wins can do to a player. He's gone from looking like a British no.5 to looking like a player who can regularly appear in the latter stages of tournaments and seriously threaten the World's Top 10. 

Ditto (sort of) Heather Watson. I thought her potential had fizzled out years ago, yet here she is displaying stunning grass court skills and getting herself into the last 16! It has to be said that she's had a fairly easy run when you look at the quality of her opponents, but she's still navigated her way through them successfully and her smile can light up the whole of London, so I hope she keeps it up.

I understand why they've decided to play on the middle Sunday, and spread the Fourth Round matches over two days, but God I'll miss Manic Monday. Having ALL the Mens and Womens last 16 matches played on the same afternoon and evening used to be a highlight of the annual sporting calendar. So much going on, so many stories to follow and so many surprises, even on the outer courts. It was unique to Wimbledon and a real treat, and I feel all that will be diluted this year and it just won't be as exciting. 

I have to say I'm enjoying the rowdier crowds this year. Might just be my imagination, but there seems to be a lot less 'polite clapping' and a lot more 'overenthusiastic cheering'. It makes it sound less like a Royal dinner party and more like a proper sports event.

I think it's a post-pandemic thing. People are finally able to get out and enjoy these things again and they're determined to get into it and give it their all and participate, not just observe. They're feeling less self-conscious and just going along with it and expressing their emotions, and long may it continue.

See - Covid was a bastard, and will keep kicking our arses for years yet, but the pandemic has had its good points!

RC 2-7-22