Gobshite

I had an appointment with the dental hygienist today. £70 for a 30-minute torture session that left me bleeding, tearful and poorer.

I went back to work for the afternoon in an understandably grim mood. Bad timing, then, for a conspiracy-theorist, anti-vaccine neanderthal to walk into the filling station without a mask and start bleating on about freedoms and hoaxes.
I fear my reaction may invoke a disciplinary, but who cares? I’m leaving soon, and I’m sick of dealing with these facebook-inspired cretins. I know I should be more understanding and tolerant, but in this case I’m not. “Just because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean it’s incomprehensible,” I said. I also said lots of other things, most of which were probably inappropriate for a person in a position of management to say to one of his customers, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m sick of the virus being allowed to run riot and then having to listen to idiotic, nonsensical ramblings from the very people who are putting obstacles in the way of our return to unrestricted life. I’m sick of the most ridiculous rants being aired and shared while the scientific evidence is ignored. I’m sick of the laziest, thickest people on Earth being given the same credence as educated, well-trained experts.
I think I need to live on an island….

RC 29-1-21

Too far?

Philippa has had her Covid jab! Being an NHS employee, and about to start helping with the roll-out of the vaccine to local old people, she has been given priority placement in the queue and now has little Oxford/AstraZeneca-created genetic instructions whizzing around her body.  I am delighted.

Ted and Beryl have also had their first doses (of the Pfizer vaccine, in their case) and it is amazing how much of a relief that is.

 

I’m not an intellectual elitist, but if you don’t think this is safe, you’re an idiot. Call me extreme, but I think we should divide the British Isles into two walled-off segments. Those who are vaccinated can live in peace in Area One, while those who refuse to have the injection can be thrown together in Area Two. Keep the two groups separate, wait a few months, and let’s see how many of the naysayers are happy to stay where they are, and how many are climbing the wall begging to be given the vaccine.

It’s a shame we only had a General Election a year ago, or I’d be tempted to run as a candidate…

RC 28-1-21

Snubbed

I have been excluded from attending the regular end-of-month Virtual Meeting of local under-management sub-division site supervisors (or whatever the Hell we’re called). This seems to be a definite sign that they’ve given up on the idea of me staying beyond the 28^th of February. I’m not sure why I shouldn’t be there. I’m still doing the job, after all, and it’s not as if I’m going to work for a competitor and would be looking to steal ideas (mainly, lets be honest, because this company doesn’t really have any).

I guess there’s just some weird paranoia that permeates through Head Offices when someone lower down hands their notice in. ‘Company Policy’ states that no-one can attend meetings without being approved by HR, and that seems to be the only possible barrier to my attendance, so I could ‘put my parts on’ and insist on being let in, but I won’t, because I couldn’t give two sparrow shits. The truth is that these meetings have happened monthly for years without providing one positive outcome for anyone. So I shall let them carry on without me.

I shall spend that time watching episodes of ‘The Serpent’ on iPlayer, which is a far better use of my afternoon.

RC 27-1-20

(belated) Weekend Review

I found Championship Sunday in the NFL strangely disappointing. Tom Brady’s achievement in reaching a 10^th Super Bowl is ridiculous, but it’s also monotonous to the point of being unimpressive. You watch him – at the age of 43 – analysing the field like a computer and throwing pin-point passes with the accuracy of a guided missile, and you just feel nothing. You just take it for granted that he’s going to be perfect and he’s going to win. Again. Genius is unappreciated sometimes because genius makes the momentous look mundane.

 

I am not a fan of Winter, but I did enjoy seeing some more snow, and I particularly loved the crisp, dry air of Sunday. I think the temperature in our garden reached 1C for an hour, but for the rest of the day it was sub-zero, sparkly and stunningly beautiful. Too cold for Mathew to be out, so I took a solo walk down some nice local footpaths and enjoyed crunching the icy puddles like a child. Simple pleasures, my friends, are the ones that bring the most joy.

RC 26-1-20

11 months today...

I can’t believe we are 1/12^th of the way round to another Christmas. Hardly worth putting the decorations away really, it’ll be here before you know it.

Only a week left in January, so only a month and a week left before I leave my job. It still feels like its a lifetime away. Psychologically I’ve already left, so it’s a real struggle to motivate myself to keep doing what I’m supposed to in my current position. Don’t get me wrong – I am being professional and continuing with my allotted tasks, but I’m doing them with minimal effort and with no real concern about how they turn out. It shows you how ridiculous a three-month notice period is. No company is going to get the best efforts from an employee when they’re just counting down to the day they start their new job. I suppose the idea is that you spend that three months training up your successor so there’s a nice transition period and someone to take over, but that isn’t happening here. Those Above Me don’t seem to have decided whether they’ll replace me or not. The job certainly hasn’t been advertised anywhere, either internally within the company or on any external jobsites, as far as I can see.  My teams keep asking me what is going to happen in March, and I can’t tell them because I don’t know. Apart from a chat with my immediate superior, which was part of a pre-scheduled regular visit anyway, I have had Zero Contact with anyone ‘up the ladder’. It’s a shame and it’s a shitty way to deal with people, (not me, I mean the people who’ll still be here after I’m gone) but it’s not my concern, I guess.

RC 25-1-20

RANDOM THOUGHTS

A few things that have popped in my head this week….

“I don’t trust people who don’t wear socks.”

“People who are more passionate about sports than they are about their own children should be banned from being parents.”

“Winter is to Summer as Donald Trump is to Joe Biden.”

“People who don’t like masks complaining about Covid deaths is like people who don’t like parachutes complaining that the ground is hard.”

“Insomnia eats your energy more than running a marathon.”

RC 24-1-20

Being 37, Day 1

I have a blinding headache.

It seems to be happening quite frequently at the moment. Maybe I need new glasses. Or maybe I need a new pillow. Or maybe the stress of another lockdown, allied with the stress of preparing for a career change, is taking its toll.

Or maybe – and this is probably far more likely to be the cause of my discomfort today – I am suffering because I celebrated my birthday yesterday by eating a ridiculous amount of cheese, drinking rather a lot of sparkling Pinot Noir and then sitting up until 3am playing Madden.

Note to self for future – always, always, ALWAYS book January 21^st off work….

RC 21-1-21

A message from myself, to myself

Happy Birthday to Me

Happy Birthday to Me

Happy Birthday Dear Rory

Etcetera

RC 20-1-20

Work was Weird

There seemed to be an odd atmosphere around me as I went about my daily duties for my employer today. I don’t know how much of it was imagined, but it made for an unpleasant, paranoid shift. Some people seemed to be acting as if I’d already left, some were looking at me as if they’d just recognised me from some horrible online crime story, and others – that I’ve previously spoken to frequently in my time here – just chose to ignore me. Maybe the news of my resignation has spread and my colleagues aren’t sure how to react.
Actually, that’s probably unlikely. I let the company know I was leaving on December 1^st, and this isn’t exactly a workplace that’s known for keeping secrets.
Philippa thinks I have some underlying uncertainty about my decision to change career, and my subconscious is projecting my inner guilt outwards onto other people – so I’m seeing the attitude in other people that I really have towards myself. I didn’t realise she’d had psychology training as part of her induction as a doctor’s receptionist, but she may be right.

RC 19-1-20

Plans & Pumps

Four NFL games this weekend, all live in Britain on Sky. I shall go home tonight with ridiculous amounts of snacks, drinks and easily-cooked food items and gorge my way through the Divisional Round like a true American football fan.

I only got one prediction wrong last weekend, so I’m 5-1 for the play-offs so far. My expectations for this week are victories for the Chiefs, Ravens, Packers and Saints. But obviously I’m not an expert or an analyst or a betting guru, so don’t use my suggestions as a prompt to put huge online bets on. If you lose your house and your wife leaves you, don’t go blaming me saying you got the ideas for your betting from this blogsite. Take responsibility for your own demise, you cretin.

Not sure how we got there, but it’s done now.

 

I’ve realised how little I’ve been cycling during Winter. This ‘No-Cycle Cycle’ happens every year and I’m not sure how to stop it. Maybe it’s just a natural internal reaction to the changes we get from one season to the next. In Summer I love being out on my bike and keeping fit. Even in Autumn I have every intention of regular rides throughout the months November to March. But then the cold, dark days take over and I just can’t be bothered. So every year I’m determined that this will be the year I will bike a lot, and every year I fall into the same trap of lethargy. And here I am again.

I suppose the good thing is that I know I’ll pick it up again in Spring, because I always do. I should also give myself a bit of a break, because at this time of year it’s only light enough to bike for a limited number of hours, and I spend most of those hours Monday to Friday at work.

Are these just excuses for me being lazy and undisciplined?

Maybe. I don’t know. I’ll worry about it in March.

RC 15-1-21

7 days til 37

Bored at work (well – lots to do but struggling with enthusiasm) I have decided to cast my tired eyes upon my Balls of Crystal Clarity and make a few predictions about how 2021 might unfold…

FEBRUARY – Donald Trump declares himself ‘Valentine for Life’ and insists he is allowed to kiss anyone he wants to.

MARCH – The change to British Summer Time is postponed until August.

APRIL - A new variant of Covid is discovered in Malaysia. It’s not very infectious but can turn your ears orange.

MAY – Adele announces she is pregnant with David Attenborough’s baby.

JUNE – Britain has its hottest day on record.

JULY – Torrential rain causes flooding in at least 40 counties.

AUGUST – Donald Trump announces his intention to be the next Pope.

SEPTEMBER – Schools return to full opening. Pupils take bets on how long it will last.

OCTOBER – ‘Trick or Treat’ officially replaced by new tradition ‘Cough or Candy’.

NOVEMBER – From his prison cell, Donald Trump urges his supporters to bomb the Houses of Parliament. “I actually AM Guy Fawkes,” he insists.

DECEMBER – Lockdown Christmas 2.

RC 13-1-20

Tuesday Blue

God, it’s depressing being back in my office again. That week at-home did me the world of good. Walking onto the site this morning made my heart sink, my shoulders sag and my mood plummet. I’m trying to make myself feel better by watching ‘The Serpent’ on BBC iPlayer, but it’s not enough to keep my spirits lifted. If anything, I’m finding myself rooting for the baddies, as spending a bit of time as a serial killer feels like a likely outcome if I have to keep dragging myself into work for another 6 weeks.

 

In other news, it’s my birthday a week from tomorrow! We’ve not really made any plans. Philippa is caught up in the whole sorting-the-logistics-and-implementation-of-the-vaccine-rollout that GP surgeries are taking on at the moment, so she can’t have my birthday off. We can’t have anyone round for a party, we can’t go out for a meal, I can’t see my sisters and the weather forecast looks like it won’t even be warm enough for a walk on the beach, so it might just be a quiet evening at home with a movie and a bottle of Port.

I would happily do that for my birthday any year, if I’m honest, but this time I HAVE to, so it’s different.

 

It’s likely Philippa will have to work some weekends in the near future. It’ll only be every so often, and it’s all on a rota system so she won’t be doing any more than anyone else, but it’s still annoying. I mean – I know we need to get on top of this pandemic, and we need to protect the most vulnerable as soon as possible, but I’d like that to happen without my wife working weekends.

RC 12-1-20

Have I missed the office? Have I Hell...

They’re letting me go back to work tomorrow. I’m glad it’s not today because I sat up watching the NFL play-offs last night so I only went to bed a few hours ago.

 

This ‘new job’ thing is feeling weird again. Having been approached by Gavin, and then having had an informal chat about the position rather than an official interview, and then having accepted it, I’m now being asked to fill in an application pack. I think it’s just a box-ticking exercise to formalise everything, but it does seem a bit odd.

We had a good chat yesterday (Gavin and I) and he does come across as a bit scatter-brained at times, but in a good way. It’s not surprising that who-is-doing-what-where is still undecided, because he doesn’t know when he’ll be allowed to open all the sites again, or how many people will be allowed to visit, or how many people are likely to want holidays anyway. Having said that, they’re pretty much booked solid from Easter through to the end of October, so we just have to hope that things go well with the vaccines and the virus and the variants and that Britain’s tourism industry is let loose again by Springtime. Whatever happens, my job will start on March 1^st, and I’ll be out of the supermarket filling station game, which can only be a good thing.

RC 11-1-20

Madness

I realised today that I’ve been signing off my blog postings this year with “xx-1-20” as if it’s still 2020. I guess my excuse is that this year currently feels a Hell of a lot like most of last year did.

Winter always feels like such a challenge, and yet we are already at January 9^th and racing on towards Spring.

People may enjoy complaining about our leaders in the UK, but at least Boris Johnson isn’t provoking people to march on Parliament. Can you believe what is happening over the water? January 21^st can’t arrive soon enough. Joe Biden may look like a man on the brink of death but at least he’s not a raving lunatic.

I have an afternoon online Zoom meeting with my new boss tomorrow. Be interesting to see what the plans are, for me and for the business. I’m really hoping he’s not going to tell me that he’s had a re-think in light of the new restrictions and my position is no longer available. The only thing making my current job bearable is the fact that I’ve only got to do it til March….

RC 9-1-20

First Fri-ku of 2021

Another lockdown

Britain works from home again

And schools remain closed

 

Many shops open.

Are birthday cards ‘essential’?

It would appear so.

 

Need a holiday

Not allowed to go abroad

Camp in the garden??

 

Twenty-Twenty-one

Feels a Hell of a lot like

March Twenty-Twenty

 

PM looks half-dead

Experts are all exhausted

Are we in good hands?

 

Imagination

My fertile mind will save me

My dream world is safe

 

Get vaccinated

Then we can all go outside

And hug each other

RC 8-1-21

No sign of symptoms

I feel perfectly fine, thank you very much for asking.

My employers have found a remarkably efficient way of piling virtual work onto my at-home desk, so I’ve got plenty to be going on with. I’ve decided to conduct an experiment into How Professionalism and Productivity are Effected by Choice of Clothing, so I’m doing everything today in my slippers and dressing gown.

 

Despite being forced into isolation I am managing to find the time to watch some stuff I missed over Christmas. ‘How to Train Your Dragon 3’ wasn’t great plot-wise, but the CGI was breath-taking and some of the production design was sumptuous. It was quite scary how good the facial expressions on the characters were. So much movement, so many nuances and twitches, it was the closest we have yet come to a convincing portrayal of the reality of a human face. Thank God they went with the exaggerated anime-style eyes on everyone or I might have thought I was watching live action.

Dr Who was all right, but no more than that. I do wonder how much longer this programme can survive the interference from the BBC ‘Political Correctness’ and ‘Determined To Highlight Diversity’ divisions. I’m not sure the addition of John Bishop to the cast will be a step in the right direction.

‘Black Narcissus’ Part 1 was so boring that I haven’t bothered watching the rest of it.

RC 7-1-20

Worrywort

I woke up with a mild headache, so Philippa is convinced I’ll be on a ventilator by Friday. She is busy at work but has still found time to text me three times and call twice ‘just to check you’re okay’.

Bless her.

I can say with absolute certainty that I do not have a temperature, and my senses of taste and smell both remain fully functional. I have tested them to the hilt, believe me, by munching my way through a selection box of luxury biscuits and drinking a litre of ginger beer. All is as it should be, and I do not have a cough.

I am having, I must confess, the occasional little moment where my mind wonders if I am on the cusp of a Covid onslaught, and if I have an undiagnosed underlying condition that might make me more susceptible to complications, but they are only fleeting. I refuse to buy into the panic that might make me anxious, which would make me short of breath, which would make me think I had corona, which would make me panic, which would lead to me contacting the Health Service, which would take someone away from a chance to do something useful for someone who really needs it. So I shall ignore that little voice of concern in my head, and plough on with the Green & Black’s Organic Chocolate Taster Pack.

RC 6-1-20

Caught up in Corona!!

One of our employees has tested positive for ‘The Covid’ and I worked with her early last week, so I have been sent home to self-isolate, as per government instructions!
Philippa has panicked and banished me into one room only, but I have to say I’m delighted! I’ve been pushing hard to be allowed to work from home more often, now I get to see out the rest of this week delegating stuff to others from the post-Christmas comfort Chez Nous.
I’m not concerned about potentially being ill. I got bored of worrying about it during the first lockdown, and I know quite a few people who have had this thing and recovered from it, and while it was unpleasant for them for a few days, none of them really suffered. I also think, based on the timeline and having had a conversation with ‘The Infected One’ herself, that if I was going to start displaying symptoms it would have happened by now. We worked alongside each other on Tuesday. She started feeling ‘a bit rough’ on Friday and got tested early yesterday, because she takes shopping to her mum every week and she was worried about spreading anything nasty. “Just felt a bit woozy and breathy, but realised my morning coffee tasted crap, so thought I’d better get looked at,” she said.
They told her she was positive this morning and the quarantining started from there. So she’s sat at home on her own, but feeling better already, and Mr Muggins here gets a few extra days off because she might have accidentally coughed into my teacup or something while we passed each other in the serving cubicles on Tuesday.
All feels a bit odd, as we’re very good with our social distancing and I don’t think we were within 6 feet of each other at all, but I guess we have to follow the rules. I’ve been moaning for months about The Great British Public not doing as they’re told, so time to suck it up and be a good boy for a week or so.
I’m avoiding the office and I’m catching up on some movies I missed over Xmas, so its not exactly a hardship, is it?

RC 5-1-20
1645 GMT

Arrows and Helmets

Happy New Lockdown, Britain! Do please spare a thought this morning for those of us who are still having to drag ourselves into work.

 

The title of this blog sounds like a new TV show set in medieval times but is actually a reference to Darts and the NFL, both of which I spent a lot of time viewing at the weekend.

I don’t like Gerwyn Price, but you have to say he had a spell there in the Final where he was playing near-perfect darts. It was fun watching the nerves overtake him in the last couple of sets, but having seen the agony on his face as he missed 11 shots at the title, even I was rooting for him when he stepped up for try number 12. I called Ted to discuss it but he had refused to watch it because the final was between a Scotsman and a Welshman. He said some things that would be deemed very inappropriate in this day and age, so I won’t repeat them here, but do please remember he is very old and his mind is set in a time when people from different districts took delight in pointing out each other’s cultural idiosyncrasies.

The last day of the regular NFL season was very exciting and twisted and turned like a worm trying to avoid a blackbird. I enjoyed it immensely, even though my team were eliminated from contention weeks ago. It’s interesting to think what the 49ers might have achieved without an incredible number of injuries, but it’s also quite painful, so I shall stop thinking about it and look forward to a much better, slightly luckier season in 2021. The extra play-off place for each conference meant that there was even more last-day intrigue than normal, and I am really looking forward to the SIX wild cards games next weekend.

What are the chances of Philippa letting me watch all six games?

About the same as the chances of America waving goodbye to Donald Trump this month without some kind of terrible incident on the streets of Washington, I would say.

 

Sorry if you don’t follow darts or American Football. This blog must have been confusing, weird and nonsensical. I promise not to mention sport tomorrow, so do please come back and join me.

RC 5-1-20 

It's just January

I’ve never been so glum on New Year’s Eve as I was two days ago. While everyone else was rejoicing at the end of the hardest year any of them had ever known, I was feeling strangely anticlimactic and uncaring.
Maybe it was the post-Christmas Blues kicking in, or maybe it was a bit of nerves about the changes I face with work in the next few months, or maybe I’m just a moody bastard, who knows? We kept it low-key anyway, with Mathew being a problem at nights recently. He seems to be bringing in about 4 molars at the same time, so he’s a bit sore in the gob department and not eating properly. I know that I can be a grumpington when I’m not able to enjoy food and when insomnia is kicking in, so I can’t blame him really for keeping us awake with his tossing and turning and grizzling. But after three nights of nocturnal stirrings we didn’t feel like partying at home on the 31^st.
So it was cheese and biscuits and a bottle of wine and we sat together and watched “Skyfall”.
Not a bad way to end the year, now I think about it. 

RC 2-1-20

Dichotomy (a New Year poem)

Rising cases; rising hope

Feeling confident; can’t cope

Things are better; things are worse

Found a cure; flanked by a curse

 

Different number, same old place

Different diet, same old face

Out of Europe with a bump

At least we’re nearly rid of Trump

RC 1-1-21