Happy Haiku

The last day of Feb!
Once we reach midnight tonight
March springs into life

RC 28-2-25

Everybody's expert

It's amazing how much stuff there is online to help me with my voyage into the world of cardistry. Instruction videos on YouTube, forums where people swap ideas, boot camps that you can pay to attend, trainers that will do one-to-one sessions with you via Zoom, lists of tricks with details of how to perform them, blogs from people who are already successful.  And it's led me to have one of my days of pondering very heavily about 'the way things are these days'. Because if I have access to this stuff, then so does everybody else on earth, which means that we all have the ability to get good at something that previously was an art form only practiced by a select few individuals around the world. And if that's true of Cardistry, then it's true of everything else too. And I think it IS. True, I mean. If you look up anything online now, no matter how obscure it might be, and if you are prepared to put in the time to practice and perfect, you can become an expert in whatever you choose to put your mind to, without having to resort to paying someone to teach you or going away to study for years on end. Want to be able to change a spark plug in any vehicle made from 1970 to 1985 without being trained as a mechanic? Yep - I bet you can find all you need on the internet. Want to know the composer and publication date of any piece of classical music just by hearing the first five notes? Yep - I'm pretty sure that's covered too. Want to know more about South African flora and fauna than anyone else in Britain? The information is all there, if you choose to get into it and absorb it.  The way we learn, and what is available to whom, has changed, and now certain worlds are having to change and adapt accordingly. Poker players who dominated tournaments for years on end have had to alter their habits to fit in with the internet generation who have overtaken their predecessors live experience by playing countless games online. Chess - an unchanged game that for 1500 years was a playground only for the intellectually elite - now has players near the top of the rankings who grew up playing on computers at home. It's not just in these game environments either - your neighbour Tommy is probably just as good at making soup as the potager chef at the top hotels in London; Kelly who works in your office might know as much about Niels Bohr as the physics lecturer at Oxford; and Hassam from the refrigeration company we use at work might know more about underwater earthquakes than he knows about installing a freezer. Everyone, everywhere has access to everything, and it's levelling the playing field of life, I guess.
I need to think about it some more before I draw a conclusion, but it's certainly cheered me up a bit thinking about it. I have such a negative view of things like social media that it's wonderful to realise that the good intentions of the world wide web have not been lost in the plethora of puerile pap placed upon it. And, for me, right now, it's a godsend to have so much access to the cardistry stuff.

RC 27-2-25

Deck delights!!!

I think I've found my new obsession; the thing that will occupy my mind incessantly and fill up every available spare second while I practice and learn and research. Ladies and gentlemen (and assorted others) I give you - CARDISTRY.
And to save you moving away from this blog to look it up, I shall explain - it is the act of performing artistic movements with packs of cards. It's not quite magic, it's not quite dealing, it's not quite juggling, but it has elements of all three of those. It is beautiful, balletic and baffling, and it has me hooked like a ten-pound pike caught on a treble partridge hook attached to a 3kg braided fishing line. I found a compilation video of some of the best exponents in the world, quite by accident, and my little heart soared and my little adrenaline started flowing and my little hyperfocus goblin shouted "YES! THIS!".
So now I am lost in an ocean of online information and getting more and more excited by the second. And the good thing is - all I need is a decent pack of cards and some patience and perseverance. There's no expensive outlay for equipment, there's no safety and risk implications (apart from a nasty paper cut now and then or possibly a strained thumb), and there's nothing to stop me practising at work any time I have a spare minute or two. It's harmless to the environment, needs no special clothing, and doesn't involve external noise like trying to learn an instrument. It is, in so many ways, exactly what I have been looking for as a hobby.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to learn more about The Faro Shuffle.

RC 26-2-25

Decay depression

I may have to go and see my dentist again. I have a very sensitive molar that keeps reminding me it is there. It's not a constant issue, but every so often (normally when I drink a hot drink after being in cold air) it hits me with a sharp, jabbing throb that makes me feel quite sick and takes about 15 minutes to settle down. I like my teeth to just sit happily in my mouth and do their job without drawing attention to themselves, thank you, I'm not so keen on them when they keep vying for my attention at inappropriate moments.
I've been trying some expensive sensitive toothpaste that I've been recommended before, but all that seems to do is create a weird slimy film in my mouth that I have to try and ignore while I'm trying to get to sleep. I put dollops of it on the tooth in question when it's playing up, too, but it doesn't seem to cling to the tooth very well, it just ends up dropping into my mouth, and then coating my throat with an unpleasant, burning gunk when I swallow it. So, yeah, I am not best friends with my own gob at the moment.

In other news, one of our maintenance guys onsite thinks the fence around our outside play area is rotting, and should really be replaced before we hit the busy season at Easter. When I asked him what that might entail, he happily revealed that his brother happens to have started running a fencing company, and could do us a good deal if we booked him soon, while things are quieter for him. Being the cynical old bugger that I am, and viewing everyone in the world around me as opportunistic, money-grabbing bastards of the highest order, I smiled a smirky smile and said I would think about it. What I will actually do is get somebody else to have a look. A second opinion is always a sensible option, I feel.

RC 25-2-25

Melancholy Monday

Mathew is back at school. I am back at work. The weather is grotty. February has been very much a Winter month. The damp air is making me sniffly, and making my joints ache. There's a low, grey cloud above us and the roads are wet and slippery. And the forecast is for no change this week, meaning no sign of Spring and no sign of the sun. So, yeah, I'm not feeling on my best form today.
BUT - to put a positive spin on things:
It's only five weeks until we change the clocks.
On Saturday we will be into March.
I have just had an amazing week of family fun, and there's no reason why those fun activities can't be continued in the evenings.
Soon be cycling weather.
Only a matter of weeks until we can eat outside, go for picnics, walk after tea, have the windows open, drive without the heating on, and start hanging washing outside again!

RC 24-2-25

Wonderful week

I really have had the most amazing time at home during this half-term. Mathew is at such a cool age now, where he is his own little character and has his own personality, and wants to have his say and make his own suggestions, and he's so much fun to be with. It's very hard to believe that I have had anything to do with his creation and his progress, so used am I to thinking that things I have produced in the past have been useless. But that's about my own misgivings about my own abilities, nothing to do with parenthood. He makes me so proud, and he fills my world with love and with joy, and the fact that he is the result of Philippa and I being together is just mind-blowingly wonderful and makes me feel so connected to her and so in love with her in ways that I simply cannot describe in words.
On the Rory Scale of Contentment right now, with 'Citizen Kane' being perfection, and 'Volcano' being near to suicide, I am definitely sitting happily at 'The Silence of the Lambs'.

RC 21-2-25

Waterborne wonderment

We had a lovely little boat trip today. Totally unplanned (until about 10pm last night). But with the weather forecast set as 'Sunny intervals with a moderate breeze. Highs of 7C' we decided to book something we had talked about doing loads of times, but never got round to. So this morning I got to do one of my most favourite things in the whole world - make a picnic lunch for the family! - and we pootled off to 'Reynolds Rivercraft' and then pootled off up the river in one of their 'Day Cruisers'. Not an elaborate, ostentatious boat, it has to be said, but more than enough for our needs. An onboard toilet, a fridge, a kettle, a little sitting area, and a cabin bit where the driver (or I believe they are known as 'pilots' on ships) could sit comfortably while desperately trying to look confident in his abilities to steer this bloody thing safely. There were a few worrisome moments when Mathew seemed determined to ignore any and all warnings and plunge himself into the icy waters, but on the whole it was a lovely, relaxed, fun family afternoon full of giggles and delights. We saw swans, we saw geese, and we had a rather enthusiastic mallard that must have thought we were suddenly the most important thing on the river and kept landing on the front of our vessel, staring in at us as if trying to hypnotise us into providing food, and looking very much like a cheap, bizarre figurehead from seafaring boats of days past. There weren't too many other people about (which I, as the unhappily designated driver for the day, was relieved about as it meant there were less people to worry about bashing into) but the ones who were afloat alongside us all seemed smiley and satisfied. We kept a running total of the numbers who waved back to us and the ones who didn't - naming them 'Wavers' and 'Humbugs' on the scorecard (I suggested 'Wavers' and 'Wankers' but Philippa wouldn't go for that one) - and I'm pleased to say that the Wavers far outnumbered the Humbugs. Mathew was pleased with that too. He sat on my lap for a while and I let him use the steering wheel, much to his absolute joy. He ended up ploughing us through some riverside reeds and at one point we nearly ended up taking out a fishing jetty (which he later admitted he had aimed for deliberately) but apart from that, he did rather well for a six-year-old with no experience of operating vehicles.
The hardest (and perhaps most hilarious) bit for me was when we got back to Reynolds little boatyard, and I had to navigate our craft down a ridiculously narrow entry way and then turn it around before mooring it side-on near their office. You see, they give you a 5-minute lesson when you arrive, then send you off upriver, then you're expected to remember what you have to do six hours later when you get back. I found my memory, hand-eye co-ordination and confidence all deserting me at the same time, and it took a good five minutes of to-ing and fro-ing before I could get the bloody thing anywhere near the landing post. Nerve-wracking and anxiety-inducing, and has left me feeling rather exhausted, mentally.
A great day, though. Possibly the finest of the year so far...

RC 19-2-25

Half-term Heaven

I'm off work for a couple of days this week and having a whale of a time with the little fellows. It's so hard for parents (well, it was hard for us) when they first start school, and you have to send them off into someone else's care and hope it's not like a juvenile jungle where they rip each other apart, but as the months progress and you start to see them benefit, you then get to look forward to these times when they are at home again. I can't really take time off during the main school breaks as we're so busy at work, so sneaking a mini-holiday at half-term feels extra special and extra needed.
Of course it would be much nicer if it was warm enough to sit outside and play in the garden, but you can't have everything, and we're making the best of it. We wrap them up and venture out, and when we're indoors we're doing the full gamut of activities - bit of painting, building train tracks, hide-and-seek - and lots of reading.
So, so lovely.

RC 18-2-25

Strange Sunday

I have to say that it was very weird last night to be facing a Sunday evening without the NFL. Every Sunday since early September has involved me watching, listening to, or using the internet to at least keep up with, the sporty scores from over the water in America. So now, and for the next six months at least, my focus and attention will have to be somewhere else, and that will take some getting used to. And last night was particularly problematic, with the Super Bowl having taken place 7 days before. There was such a build-up and excited anticipation last weekend - even in the moments when I was still convincing myself I wouldn't watch it - so yesterday felt really rather flat.
I suppose the good thing is that I am already noticing the evenings getting lighter, so it won't be too long before I can fill that void with after-tea walks, or cycling, or playing outside with my boys. And in the meantime, I'm sure I can find some weird little obsession or other that will keep me busy and keep me entertained on a Sunday evening.

RC 17-2-25

Pre-Valentine Pro-List

Cheating a bit with the 'two-word' title there, but anyway...
I have decided to write a list of 'Things I Really Love About My Wife'.
I'm not romantic enough to share it with her, but for some reason I feel ok posting it here for you lot to read...
So...

She is an incredible mum to our two lovely boys.
She loves me, despite everything wrong that I do, say and put her through.
She makes me laugh, a lot.
I am proud of the way she has redefined herself and gone for it with retraining.
She is a terrific cook.
Looks-wise, she is getting better and better as the years go by.
She is very caring and always sees the best in people.
She is reliable, punctual and consistent.
She treats everyone she meets with respect, even when they don't deserve it.
She is very understanding of my insomnia.

RC 13-2-25

Performer's Poem

I call this one "Abasement in a basement"

I should have got suspicious when I felt him tap my rear
But he said "I'm a producer - I can help with your career"
So I followed him, reluctant, as he led me down the stair
into a dim-lit cellar that increased my sense of fear

He didn't have the aura of a pervert or a pest
So when he started filming me, I thought "It's for the best"
He asked me to unbutton things, to "show a bit of chest"
and said the people watching on the web were all impressed

I said I had some boundaries - he wouldn't see me nude
He said "It's just a screen test, then we'll go and get some food"
Then someone on the internet suggested something crude
And I did it - for the 'thumbs up' - but it didn't help my mood

He told me "You're a natural, you're destined for the screen"
Then suggested - for my showreel - that we do another scene
and even though the script for it was really quite obscene
I didn't want to disappoint - they all seemed very keen

My parents were disgusted, my friends say I'm a tart
My body feels degraded and I have a broken heart
But everyone's career path needs a push to make it start
And it'll all be worth it if it helps me get a part.

RC 12-2-25

Unromantic utterance

Philippa walked up to me in the kitchen this morning, singing along to that old song that goes, "I don't know why I love you... but I do". As she threw her arms around my neck, I found myself answering her by saying, "You love me because you have an inherent need to care for someone and you were terrified of ending up alone, and I just happened to come along at the time when your fear of loneliness was at its strongest."
Apparently, that wasn't the reaction she wanted...

RC 11-2-25

Gridiron greatness

It may be wrong trying to write this after so little sleep, but it hasn't stopped me before, so..
Some thoughts about last night's over-across-the-Atlantic activities, while they are fresh in my mind:
I have not enjoyed a Super Bowl so much in years. Seeing the team that has dominated things for the past decade or so (including beating my favourite team twice in The Big Game) absolutely crumble to bits on the biggest stage possible was a thing of beauty and a joy to behold.
Darren Fletcher is not my favourite commentator, but I was jumping between channels at times last night, and I have to say he was doing a very good job of keeping the ITV audience up to speed.
And I have to say that the ITV studio grouping of Craig Doyle, Efe Obada, Jason Bell and Osi Umenyiora is much better than anything Sky Sports can put together. Neal Reynolds is many positive things, but 'the ideal host' isn't one of them.
Kudos to Eagles' kicker Jake Elliott - he looks like a middle school cricketer, and has been criticised for missing a few kicks this season, but he looked like he could have landed the ball in an egg cup from 80 yards away last night.
Kudos too to Chiefs wide receiver Xavier Worthy, who refused to behave like his team was in the toilet and made several outstanding plays in the fourth quarter. He's 21 and this is his first year in the league. Man, there could be big things ahead for that lad.
I'm so glad that, unlike last year, we weren't subjected to interminable amounts of shots of Taylor Swift. I'm sure she was onscreen more often than most players at the Super Bowl in February '24.
My snack of choice this year was some 'XXL Pretzel Sticks' bought at very little cost from a cheap supermarket. (I'm not being coy in not naming them - I honestly can't remember where they came from). The perfect combination of crunchiness and saltiness, and there was a large bag, but they were only small individual snacks, so I could chunter away at them without realising how many I was eating.
And I shall leave it there now, except to say that I am very happy with the result, while also sad that it's now 9 months until the NFL starts up again....

RC 10-2-25

Pigskin prediction

I went early with this one - I wrote it down on Wedneday and haven't changed it since, such was my level of confidence (or possibly my wishful thinking):

Philadelphia Eagles 35
Kansas City Chiefs   17

Actually, I was going to say 45-17 originally, but thought that was really wishful thinking and made myself adjust it...

RC 9-2-25

Buggered bowels

After a week of eating Weetabix every morning, I am remembering why I stopped having them for years. My digestive system does not react to them very well. I won't go into details, but everything south of the navel feels inflamed, and I seem to have used our weekly allocation of toilet roll in two of my visits to the bathroom.
I'm going back to toast...

RC 7-2-25

Possible placement

I am, unexpectedly, finding myself seriously considering Gavin's request to head to Devon. Mainly, it has to be said, because he has made me an interesting offer based on increased holiday entitlement and a nice financial upkick. Either I am really very good at my job and he thinks I can vastly improve things over there, or he is desperate and thinks I'm the most likely employee to cave in to his demands. Whichever way, I am thinking about it, and will discuss it with Philippa.
It's not a permanent move, it's a two-week placement, just to give the place an outside eye and to instigate a few changes and to give them a few ideas for the busy seasons ahead. Pretty much exactly what I've done there before, so I'm not sure what will be different this time; surely if I did it properly 18 months ago they wouldn't need me back again? Anyway, my thinking is that if this goes well I might be able to do it as a regular thing, and if I can do it for Gavin within the confines of my current employment, maybe I can then do it for other employers in the future? Consultancy is an incredibly lucrative market to be in, and from what I've seen in various fields of business, most of them don't even do anything worthwhile for their money, so it would be a nice method of income to get into...
So that's why I'm considering it. My mind has gone from, "No way - I'm not buggering off cross-country to bail you out of a mess" to "Hmmm, maybe this will be good for me long-term..." Finances should not be the main motivation for any decision, but it's quite a convincing argument at the moment...

RC 6-2-25

Bonny breakfast

I have got back into Weetabix, in a really big way. Weird thing to obsess about and write about, but I'm basically devouring a couple of them every morning, and I look forward to doing that from about 3pm each day, such is the level of delight they are giving me. I can't explain it, but it's so nice to have found (or re-found) a food that brightens my day so much. I've always been a big fan of eating, as you probably know, and I've eaten just about everything you can possibly think of, in every possible way there is, so it takes a lot for me to be surprised or ecstatic about what I'm putting in my mouth. And this one is so simple. But so delicious, and so versatile. Some mornings I sprinkle some dried fruit and nuts into the bowl, some mornings I add fresh raspberries and blueberries, and have them with yoghurt rather than milk. Other days I pick them up and eat them like toast (normally while using my shirt as a bib, because they are very crumbly). But my favourite method is the original one - just stick two in a bowl and pour cold, semi-skimmed milk on. There's something so satisfying about the way they soak up the liquid - it's a real visual pleasure and it starts me salivating in anticipation of the mouth-bound experience to follow.
Mathew was the one who asked for them, back around Christmastime. He, like his father, is a fan of cereals and I think he got swayed by an advert he had seen one morning. So Philippa got some in, and one morning in January I suddenly heard myself think, "Man, I really fancy those, I haven't had them in years!" and the process was begun.
No doubt, being me, this will be a short-lived fad that will desert me soon, and I'll have overindulged so much that I won't be able to face another one until I'm in my 50s, but for now I am enjoying myself immeasurably.
I don't have an endorsement from them, by the way, just a bit of an obsession.

RC 5-2-25

Definite decision

Okay - every blog entry this month will have an alliterative two-word title. That's not the most imaginative or interesting Blog Challenge I've ever set myself, but it's something.

Gavin has asked me again about doing some work for the South-West branch of his Empire. He does seem to like the idea of me being as far away from his Suffolk sites as possible sometimes. You may remember I spent a bit of time down there back in Summer 2023, right in the middle of the busiest spell we have here, which was rather annoying, but I did it. He then tried to persuade me to move down there permanently, which I managed to talk him out of. I suppose I should be flattered that he holds me in such esteem that he trusts me to do a good job for him, but it also worries me a little that he can't find someone suitable down there and keeps having to send members of his East Anglia cohort across country to help them out. I guess it's not easy keeping an eye on businesses you own when they're eight hours drive away from your home. Anyway - it's not my problem, and I'm not going to make it my problem. I've made it clear that I'm happy and settled here and not looking to move my family, or be away from them, even for a couple of weeks.

I am, after all, going to sit up on Sunday and watch the Super Bowl. I really can't bear the idea of watching the Chiefs win again, but it's a bit of a tradition, and my favourite annual sporting event, and an excuse to be up late eating unhealthy snacks, so I've booked Monday off work and I shall be filling the kitchen with American-themed foodstuffs at the weekend.

RC 4-2-25

Special Start

I got to watch the sun rise over a frosty beach this morning and, oh my Gosh, it was beautiful. Meditative, inspiring, gorgeous, relaxing and humbling all in equal measure. I feel at one with the natural world, I feel connected to some kind of divinity and I feel like nothing can lower my mood today. Mind you, that might be the lack of sleep. It was rather an unsettled night; one that led me to leave for work early and have a little walk on the coastline. I think I upset my shoulder playing a rather energetic and physical game with Mathew yesterday and so I kept waking up in pain and discomfort. It was worth it though - he was screaming and laughing like an insane coyote and went to bed exhausted and contented. My mistake was doing the same thing to both my sons, and forgetting that one of them is four times heavier than the other, so my body was expecting a certain level of resistance and got much more than it bargained for. It was a bit like doing a workout with a carrier bag full of paper and then trying to do the same thing with a rucksack full of sand. Or lifting a large rock after carrying a small stone and expecting them to weigh the same. Or pushing an empty shopping trolley and then trying to push a Ford Fiesta.
There I go again with the 'overmetaphorising'.
Anyway, the point is, the back of my shoulder feels like it's been stabbed with a hot spear and I might have to see if one of the physio ladies in the spa at work has a space in their schedule to treat me.
But that sky was something else....

RC 3-2-25