self-sabotage

The problem with me setting myself a Blog Challenge is that it then plays on my mind and I feel the world will collapse if I don't achieve it. Silly, I know, but that's me. So I'm already fretting about the fact that I might not succeed in posting 21 different blog entries in April, like what I planned to. There are 30 days in the month, so there can only be 9 days where I fail to write; and I've already used up 4 of those. Things are not boding well, I keep telling myself. However, there have been many times in the past when I have posted multiple entries on the same day, so I can always do that to make up the shortfall. I wouldn't want to just churn out any old shit just to reach a certain number, but there's no harm in a morning and evening update on the odd occasion, if events warrant.
This is supposed to be a 'fun' thing to do, and I've just spent about an hour worrying about it. You have to wonder why I do these things. It's as if I have an inherent urge to deliberately put myself into situations that I know will cause me stress. As if I cannot allow myself to have a calm, serene life and keep having to find ways to set myself up for punishment.
Silly, I know, but that's me.

RC 9-4-25