As promised... Easter explanations, with a Rory twist

So here's my 'Ways that the date of Easter is calculated each year' bullshit:

There are two giant dice with all the possible dates in March and April, and every so often the Prime Minister and the Archbishop of Canterbury get together and throw one each and they set the dates for the next few years.

There's a secret book that was edited out of the Bible. 'The Book of Bunnies'. It is held in storage at the Vatican and is only accessible by three select bishops per generation. That book contains a code that randomises the date each year, so no enemies of the church can pinpoint a good day to attack.

Turtles. Trained turtles...

God, in the form of a hungover Jewish bus driver in New York, appears once a decade to dictate the dates to a special group of nuns - 'The Sisters of Silliness' - who write the dates down using a special ink made of camel's blood and rat's urine.

It is, quite simply, the third weekend after the anniversary of the day when Cleopatra had her shoe stolen by a passing hawk when she was sunning herself after a particularly taxing meeting with some Persians. As the original manuscript naming that day has been lost, it is now calculated as being the third weekend after the first goshawk hatches from a designated nest on the banks of the Nile. The nest in question is chosen by being the first one built using a twig from a particular acacia tree that is next to a hidden monastery, deep within a secluded wood. The particular tree is picked by the monk who that year has been granted the title "Keeper of the Sacred Walnut' (normally whichever monk is closest in height to five feet ten, and closest in age to 24.)

And here's the real one, just to remind you, and to show that my own 'ideas' weren't so far-fetched...

Easter is set as the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring equinox.

That's a very simplified explanation, and if you want to really have a laugh, look up 'computus paschalis' (which is the church's method of working it all out), and read the lengthy history and complicated details...It really is ridiculous.

RC 26-4-25