More people about again today. The slow return to some
kind of normality seems to be gathering pace. I’m seeing customers I haven’t
seen for three months, the footfall through the pay booth seems to be how you
might expect under ‘normal circumstances’ and barely a minute goes by without a
car pulling onto the forecourt.
I have to admit that I am not feeling altogether comfortable
with it all. Part of me thinks this is all happening a bit too quickly, and we
may end up regretting the urge to be out so suddenly, but it’s more personal
than that, I think. The truth is – I have really enjoyed leading a quieter,
slower, less stressful life. My workload hasn’t really diminished, but it has
felt less pressured. The first three weeks or so of lockdown were like a 24/7
mind-melt as we all tried to catch up with what the Hell was going on, but
since then my routine has been manageable, relaxed and almost enjoyable. Back
in February, I spent huge amounts of time in pointless meetings, compiling
pointless reports or dealing with pointlessly angry customers. Most of June has
been spent in happier, more productive tasks. I think my fear now is twofold. Firstly,
I am scared of going back to that horrible daily grind of Those Above Me asking
for information, and a constant flow of customers demanding the Earth.
Secondly, and perhaps more strongly, I am scared of the alternative to that –
the fact that we may be heading into another new paradigm, with another new way
of working to get used to. I have carved out a really nice method of management
since March, and I’d really like to continue using it, but unfortunately it
only really fits in with The Lockdown Life. Now, I may have to turn my back on
it and find yet another new routine, one that is part-past and part-present and
part-improvisation. I’m just not sure I have another adaptation in me so soon
after the last one.
Maybe I’m being selfish and overreacting. Maybe I’m
just tired and have a touch of the Monday Blues and all this will feel
unimportant tomorrow. But sitting here today, with everything outside the
window looking dangerously as if the virus doesn’t exist anymore, I am feeling
very uncomfortable.
RC 29-6-20
No comments:
Post a Comment