They don’t happen very often, but I love those moments when you’re sitting somewhere quietly and you suddenly realise that you’re not thinking about anything. Obviously, as soon as you realise you’re not thinking, then by definition you’ve started thinking again; but that brief moment of inner calm when your mind has switched into neutral is magic. It’s just a shame we can’t have them more often. Maybe that’s why people meditate everyday - to achieve those rare instances of peace more regularly.
After a shitty day of busy work, I sat in the garden this evening with a glass of wine and this strange wave of serene happiness washed over me. I’m not sure where it came from, but it was delightful. It was like being hit in the head by everything that’s good about my life all in one go. Living in a nice house (even though it’s not mine) with someone I am totally in love with; having a job that pays me relatively well (even though I hate it); being reunited with my sisters, and being closer to both of them than ever before; having nice weather and beautiful August sunsets. I swear I couldn’t have had a negative thought if I tried.
And could I please point out that all this happened during the FIRST glass of wine, so it wasn’t one of those ‘pissed misperceived perfection’ things.
I felt so good I went indoors to tell Philippa how much I loved her and how great it is to be with her and how sorry I am that I sometimes don’t show her how much I appreciate her.
She was already asleep.
RC 4-8-13
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