I had a bizarre, disturbing, strangely satisfying dream last night. It turned out I was the father of the recent Royal baby, even though I could not remember ever meeting Princess whats-her-name, much less doing anything pregnancy-inducing with her. Prince William came to see me to ‘sort things out’ and he brought his Political Advisor, who was Ken Dodd. The Prince said “I’m not angry. I’m just concerned about the Constitution. Either we have to charge you with treason or I have to abdicate and let you marry my wife” In the end I promised to maintain my silence in return for a solid gold basketball and a one-way ticket to Thailand.
The Prince had very small hands.
RC 20-8-13
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