250 exactly, but un-named

Work is making me crazy again, although at least I can do it comfortably now I've shifted some weight. Speaking of which, one of my fellow night-workers came to see me today. They call her Mel the Monster, because she's large, gothic and unclean, and because Jared says that "when I banged her at a party last year she screamed like a dragon with it's nipple caught in a zip." Jared also say there is a fairly common medical condition that causes women to defecate when they orgasm, but I think I'll leave that one for now... Mel told me I was an inspiration because of my dieting. She's been on SlimFast for ten years and is still over seventeen stone, and she tells me I have given her a real lift and have shown her that success is achievable. Then she opened a can of Pepsi and launched herself into a breakfast sandwich. I didn't know that SlimFast did fry-ups.
On a whim, I went into an employment agency and asked what the local job market was like. They have some positions available working part-time at a chocolate factory, putting novelty toys into Easter eggs. Did I fancy it, they asked? I said I fancy it slightly less than I would fancy Mel the Monster naked and horizontal, but I think the joke was lost on them.
I may as well stay where I am for now and ride out the recession (the way that Jared rides Mel....)

RC 30-6-09