C4, 4pm, female - an appreciation

I think I'm in love with Rachel Riley. If you've never seen her, she's the new Carol Vorderman on the Oh-God-Haven't-They-Killed-It-Off-Yet TV programme Countdown. I fell asleep with the telly on at lunchtime, and woke up at 4pm to hear her dulcet whiny tones through the speakers. Watching her is an odd experience. As a presenter she's about as much use as a jellyfish being a cricket ball, but there's something very sexy about her. I'm not sure what it is though. Maybe it's because most of the talentless clothes horses that call themselves 'female talent' now are so alike, that it's nice to see someone who obviously doesn't have a clue what she's doing. She stands there like she's waiting for a bus, her shoulders are sagging like a golfer who's just missed an easy putt, and when she smiles it looks like Red Rum opening up for the dentist. And yet, and yet, and yet there is something very, very sexy about her. The internet tells me it's her first job in television, having auditioned for Channel 4 while still at university, and you have to say it shows. Maybe the producers will send her off for a bit of training when the series ends, and she'll come back with a straight back, a better smile, and a more professional style. I hope not. She's like an amateur ray of light in an endless blanketed screen of slutty wankfodder.
Break the mould, Rachel. Be yourself, and be beautiful.

RC 29-6-09