Rant in D minor

Why has there been such a sea change in the way they broadcast news?
I try to avoid any and all bulletins, and have done for years. With a ballooning weight problem, a family history of early death, a girlfriend on the other side of the world, and an alcoholic, chain-smoking, pill-popping abusive mother downstairs, I have enough reasons to feel miserable thank you; I don’t need to depress myself further by sharing the rest of the world’s ills as well.
But while waiting for a take-away on Friday night (May Jing Thai&Cantonese on Potter Street – I had the House Special Chow Mein, two spring rolls and a curry) I caught sight of the BBC evening news on the ridiculously small black-and-white portable television mounted on a wall bracket behind the counter.
Whatever happened to intelligent news delivered by well-groomed, experienced newscasters? When did it become de rigeur for the news of the day to be delivered standing up by a coiffeured, wafer–slim bint who looks like a supply teacher in a well run uptown comprehensive?
I blame Natasha Kaplinsky.
Her ‘sexy new methods’ were ok for Channel 5 to try, but why does every other network immediately jump on the bandwagon and have superimposed rolling screens behind a casually dressed Weather-Girl-masquerading-as-journalist, without even waiting to see if it worked on Channel 5? Are they that desperate to keep up with the trends that they copy them before they are even established?
And this is the BBC I’m talking about. Aren’t they supposed to be at the forefront of all technological advances? the first and the best when it comes to championing new ideas and initiatives? Are my TV licence pounds and pennies being spent instead on designer labels and hairdos for sultry, tempting autocue readers who look like they’re barely out of sixth form college?
I imagine they’re supposed to look informal, informing and approachable.
But they don’t. They just look like sluts.