The Dog Ate My Homework

When I started this blog, I swore to myself I would sit and write 250 words a day. Without fail. Nothing would stand between me and my keyboard – not illness, Act of God or even Death. But if I may quote Shakespeare “The best laid plans of Mice and Men are oft shafted in the pim-hole by the might of unforeseen thingamabobs.”
The first day I missed was due to a headache. The day after that my Uncle Jack came round and insisted on talking to me for nine hours about dry rot, so I couldn’t get away, and when I could, I really didn’t feel like breathing anymore, much less writing a coherent blog entry.
..so my daily postings are added to the list of “Things What Rory Started With The Enthusiasm of Jade Goody at a Chocolate Party, only for his Drive to Disappear like a rapidly dwindling post-coital Penis”
All I can say is – ‘I Promise To Do Better’

I seem to be using capital letters a lot in today’s entry. And inverted commas. And brackets. And I keep started sentences with the word ‘And’ which I’m pretty sure is bad English. I’m also using a lot of metaphors. (or is it similes? I can’t remember because I hated all my English teachers, and I’m drunk)
All I know is this – if I had to name my two biggest heroes they’d be Jack Daniels and Jim Beam. Until tomorrow morning, when they’ll be Matthew Wright, and whoever the guy was that they named ‘Andrews’ after.

Please come back…

RC 3-4-08
2055 BST