Gavin
has once again floated the idea of me moving permanently to the South-West. He
said, "I can't get that bloody place right and the only time it ran
anywhere near well was when you went down and took over."
I mean, it's nice to feel like I was useful, but I can't believe that in my brief
spell in Devon (or Dorset, I'm still not sure which) I made that much of an
impression and that much of a difference. The trouble is, this has coincided
with Philippa going through a weird, unexpected spell of feeling restless and
fancying a change, so I've got two different people throwing ideas at me about
relocating, at a time when I have been feeling very settled and very content
where I am. It's a gorgeous time of year to be in this area, with the beaches
on hand, and the natural world around us looking resplendent. Everything is full
and green and glorious and there are butterflies and bees and an abundance of
birds of prey and everywhere I look there is beauty. Why would I want to move
away from that?
Gavin's
answer is, "For a bit more money" while Philippa would say it would
do the boys good to experience different areas and not just see one house for
their whole childhood. My argument to her would be that stability in your youth
is a good thing and that the local school is a good one and why uproot unless
absolutely necessary?
My worry, too, is that this might be an underhanded attempt to increase the
size of our family. The 'third child' debate has been shelved for quite a while
now, but I know it hasn't disappeared from her plans completely, and I can see
a scenario where we get a slightly bigger house and then she says, "Well,
now we have another bedroom...."
I remember reading a very old book where someone said
that civilisations will grow to fit
their available surroundings. So, if you only have a small set of caves
in a small valley, your village will maintain its size, but if you then move to
an open area with space for more huts, you will automatically breed more to
fill the gaps. And I imagine that can be true for families too, so if we
suddenly have a house with room for another young 'un, the temptation will be
to create that young 'un and push the Chesworth Brood number up to five. Which,
as I have written quite often on this blogsite, I do NOT want to agree to. I'm
not being selfish, I'm not being obstructive, I'm just being true to myself and
my intentions.
And as for Gavin? I'm hoping this will be a passing fad, but it bothers me that
he keeps bringing it up, even though I've clearly said I'm not interested. And
being a paranoid, self-deprecating sort of cove, it makes me think that maybe
the staff here are fed up with me and are trying to get me out of the door, and
this is a way of removing Rory from the locale without sacking him....
RC 15-7-25
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