Time to take a break?

I'll forego the poetry onslaught today, if you don't mind. My brain is rather troubled and I need to empty it out here, because - you know - I don't really have any friends I can do that with. Except Philippa, and unfortunately this one is about her.
We still seem to be having massive issues at home, within our relationship. I know this can happen when there are young children involved - I've seen it show up in other parents that we know - but this feels a bit more than that. It's not just that we haven't been able to spend as much time together because we have the little ones, it's that we don't seem to enjoy that time when we do have it. It's like we have different ideas about how we should spend our 'down time' and they're not particularly compatible. So we end up in a situation where one of us is grumpy or we're both doing something we're not happy with.
And it's really, really hard.
I'm not sure what I can do to make her smile anymore, and I'm scared of saying anything unless I say it wrong. So in the end, we fall back on the safe ground of talking about the boys, but then it becomes a practical parenting conversation, not a leisurely chat between partners. And a few things have come up recently on the parenting front that we don't agree on, so that just fuels an already smouldering can of worms. (if you see what I mean). So at the moment, for probably the first time I can ever remember, I feel much more relaxed at work than I do at home, and that is not a nice position to be in.

RC 22-7-24