It's really nice to realise how much progress I have made as a human being, and how I have a much better understanding of myself, and how I work, especially with regards to what's between my ears (or wherever you believe our mind/soul/consciousness to be centred). That couple of hours the other night where I lay awake worrying and berating myself were incredibly unpleasant, but they were just a sugar-fuelled, insomnia-based episode, not a true reflection of who I am or how my nights should be. I was able to realise that and get through it without too much pain. I then chatted to Philippa about it, cleared my head by writing about it in this blogspace, and not let it affect my Monday. I made allowances for the fact that I was more tired and more emotional than normal, adjusted my pace accordingly, and got through a day of work without distraction or disappointment. Then I had a relaxed, pleasing family evening, took a rare bath (normally I'm a shower man) and then went to bed at a sensible hour, allowing myself to drift off without any worries that it might all happen all over again.
When I woke up at 6am today after an uninterrupted night, I smiled to myself and got up to make a hearty breakfast.
It's all good.
RC 2-5-23
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