Bear in mind before reading this, that I have not watched even one minute of the FIFA World Cup....
So, everything you are about to read has been fabricated in my imagination, while laying awake at night, and is in no way an accurate reflection of the tournament currently taking place in Qatar: (although I do think no.9 is probably on the money...)
1. I really like Germany's decision to ditch their traditional kit in favour of bright pink tutus.
2. My favourite goal of the tournament so far is when the Qatari left-back scored a back-heel volley from the halfway line.
3. ITV's decision to use drunk convicts as commentators has been a revelation.
4. I love the stadium that has been based on the design of a double-decker bus. The fact that the two halves of the pitch are on the two different decks has really made the matches interesting.
5. Not sure I'm enjoying the rule that says all second half substitutes have to enter the field of play naked.
6. Interesting statistic - 93% of the South American managers have shaved eyebrows.
7. So engrossed am I in the group games that I have had to smoke 70 cigarettes a day just to keep myself awake enough to catch up with work.
8. Having seen all 32 teams play at least once, my prediction for the final is that Cuba will meet Bolivia and win 7-6 after extra-time.
9. The real winners of this event, let's be honest, are the makers of haircare products for men. Some of these footballers have so much gunk in their hair it looks like they've swum through an oil spill.
10. Having Santa's elves as referees has added a festive flavour and nicely acknowledges the fact that this Cup has buggered up Christmas.
RC 28-11-22
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