I went back to see Silvia (yes, it's spelt that way) the physio/spa lady at one of our sites who had helped me (a.k.a tortured me mercilessly) when I first injured my knee. She had a poke and a prod and got me to do weird movements, and says she thinks it may be a slight cartilage tear. If it's 'slight' enough, it should settle down and heal itself; if it's a more considerable tear it might eventually rip apart completely and block my knee joint, causing me to have a locked knee and an operation. At this point in her explanation, I found myself feeling light-headed and sweaty so I lay back down on her treatment couch. She's given me some simple exercises I can do that should strengthen the joint and alleviate the symptoms without causing further damage. I have to do those three or four times a day, keep elevating and icing it morning and night, and don't spend too much time each day on my feet. Every step one takes, apparently, involves a ridiculous amount of weight and pressure being absorbed by the knees. It won't be a quick fix, she tells me, and I may have to put up with discomfort, weird noises, pain and weakness for anything up to a year.
I know it's not a huge diagnosis to deal with, in the context of what other people have to contend with, but right now I'm pissed off and depressed and I hate just about everything in the world.
RC 19-5-22
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