An Unusual State of Affairs

This feels weird to me. It’s the night before Advent starts and normally I’d be ringing with excitement and singing with enthusiasm, but I just feel flat. It’s surreal. I’m not depressed or anything, I think I’m just finding it terribly hard to believe that tomorrow we’ll actually be in December. It’s only a couple of weeks ago that it barely felt like Autumn. Leaves were still clinging to trees, gardeners were still wearing their short sleeves and the looming arrival of Christmas felt like a fantasy. Now we’re suddenly about to dive headfirst into the final month of the year and part of me is not really sure it’s happening.

Have you ever had a dream in the middle of Summer where in the dream it’s Christmas Eve and you’ve realised that you’ve forgotten to buy presents then you wake up in 25 degrees Celsius and think ‘that was odd’?

That’s what this feels like to me. Like I’m about to wake up in June.

I suppose it’s a bit of a weird one because so much has changed. Decembers have had a bit of a pattern for the past few years but this is The First Of A New Paradigm. Different jobs for both of us. The small matter of an impeding birth looming over the whole planning process!

Maybe that’s it – I can’t really lock into the idea of Christmas when a far more important event is likely to rear its head first!

Whatever it is, I’m trying really hard not to be one of those people who pisses on everyone else’s enthusiasm by saying “I’m just not feeling it this year.”

Because they’re tossers.

RC 30-11-18