The Irritating Curse of Insomnia

I’ve been up and about since 4.48 am.

I got to sleep just before midnight last night, then I was awake again from 1.17. The last time I remember looking at the clock it was 2.35, so I guess in total I had about three-and-a-quarter hours of shuteye.

Is that enough to survive on as a functioning human being?

I doubt it, but there doesn’t seem to be much I can do about it.

I was once offered sleeping pills by a GP, but I’d rather not go down that route. I have tried the herbal/homeopathic/alternate-therapy equivalents and they didn’t work. One remedy gave me stomach-ache and runny shits and the other one made my head spin. Neither of them sent me off to DreamWorld though.

The internet, as it always is, is full of suggestions and ‘Things That Have Worked For Others’ ranging from apparently foolproof ancient Mayan rituals to bizarre voodoo practices to homemade alcoholic tinctures.

I’ve tried exercising before sleep, being inactive for three hours before bed, cutting out caffeine, cutting out dairy, not eating sweets, meditation music, lying down from 6pm, sitting in a chair with my eyes closed all evening, walking around, standing barefoot on grass, propping myself up with pillows, having a cushion under my knees, doing puzzles, avoiding mental pursuits from 8pm,having a hot bath, avoiding a hot bath, drinking camomile tea, sipping iced water, laying the opposite way in bed to normal, sleeping on the floor, sellotaping my eyes closed and listening to classical music.

Nothing makes any difference.

It’s like there’s a switch in my head and if it’s pointing to ‘Sleep’ I’m ok, but if it’s locked on ‘Awake’ I’m buggered.

I try not to worry about it anymore and I try to spend the extra waking time productively, but it’s hard to achieve anything worthwhile when you’re behaving like a zombie. I can’t read because I get to the bottom of a page and I forget what was written halfway down it. I can’t do anything energetic because I feel like I haven’t recharged enough. I’m running on about 14% of my power. I once tried logging into my work computer from home so I could get the next month’s rotas finished, but I ended up giving one member of staff 147 hours in a week and accidentally booked our overnight part-timer on a training course in Israel.

Anyway – it’s nearly half-past seven now so I’ll try and wash myself in the shower. It’ll probably make me feel sleepy, but it’s too late now.

Hey, ho.

RC 30-5-18