Imminent end?

I’ve had horrendous gut pain today. I spent the first few hours at work waiting for an explosion that never came. I thought I was going to have to run off to the toilet at any moment and let my bum cheeks and the seat become good friends for a while, but it never happened. Now I don’t know whether it was trapped wind, something I ate yesterday or a weird pulled muscle. I feel better this evening, but I’m scared to eat anything in case it comes roaring back in the night. It was bloody horrible. Not just a gentle ‘hello there’ indigestion, more like a screaming ‘PAY ATTENTION TO ME YOU F**KER’ tummy torcher. Philippa has helpfully looked it up online and thinks I might have a grumbling appendix, a twisted bowel, pancreatitis or prostate cancer. I told her to use her time more wisely by booking us a holiday or getting me a hot water bottle.
That was my nan’s answer to everything - a hot water bottle. Hangover? - hot water bottle on the neck. Period pains? - hot water bottle on the lower back. Broken nose? - hot water bottle on the feet (probably.) 
I haven’t thought about her for years. Maybe she’s popping into my mind now because Philippa’s right and this condition, whatever it is, is terminal. This could be my life flashing before my eyes…

RC 14-3-18