J'accuse

Is it my imagination or has every establishment that sells fizzy drinks ‘on tap’ decided to cut down on the gas?
My non-alcoholic tipple of choice is always Pepsi. (I’ll only succumb to Coke if there is no other option available) In the last couple of weeks I have had a glass in at least three separate locations and every time it was like drinking tap water that had been coloured dark brown and flavoured slightly with Pepsi. It’s happening everywhere and it’s all about saving money. It’s putting profit before customer service and because we’re British we just take it, so they’ll keep on doing it. I don’t know where it started but it’s spread around the county like something supernatural from an M.Night Shyamalan film and it needs to stop now. I imagine it started innocently enough - the CO2 was running low at a village pub and no-one had noticed - but once they got away with it they obviously contacted everyone else in the Drinking Establishment Cabal and said “Psst. Brothers….. hear me now. You know that feckin’ awful pasty syrup shit that we buy on bulk and then mix up live through a multi-purpose hand-held serving gun that we never bother cleaning? Well you can save yourselves a few more pence if you just don’t bother to use gas. Go through the motions with the siphon thing but just don’t have it hooked to a canister. It’ll be flatter than a Norfolk ironing-board but who cares? This is England, so no-one will complain. They’ll drink the shit we serve them without even blinking. They might even bend over and grab their ankles in front of us, so used are they to allowing Big Business to rim them in the Snakehole on a daily basis. Capitalists Unite!!”
I imagine that’s exactly how it happened.
Bastards.

RC 28-11-17

P.S. My employers will thank me for this bit - the way to avoid this crappy flatness is to buy all your Coke and/or Pepsi in can or bottle form, for example from your local supermarket garage…