Limitless

I’ll never get used to life being determined by my moods and outlook.
Last week I thought I was depressed by work, living with someone who hated me, and destined to never be able to change either of those situations. Now I feel settled, relaxed, hopeful and - dare I say it? - happy.
Philippa and I had a lovely evening out together and seemed to remember all the things we love about each other.  I didn’t want to think about work on a day off but we did have a chat about me leaving, and Philippa was very understanding and supportive. I guess me being unhappy at the supermarket has affected the way I am at home and she’d like that to change. So would I, if I’m honest. I’ve wanted to leave for ages but I’ve been scared that I might end up jobless, or in exactly the same position in a new location, or with the same unhappiness but less money. But that’s just fear getting in the way of the right decision. I had a bit of a look-around on online websites last night and there are plenty of jobs about if you’re not picky and prepared to do anything. So why not try something else - anything else - short-term as a little stop-gap while I decide what I want to do permanently?
I’ll just have to try and make sure that this ‘stop-gap’ doesn’t end up going on for two or three years without me moving on from it, like this time.

RC 18-6-13