Back and bouncy

Evening all.
You’ve probably guessed by my continued absence from blogworld, but Emily and I are still together, and still spending most of our time in bed. It’s been great, although a little repetitive, and is a nice distraction from the weary world outside. Whether or not it will develop into anything beyond that remains to be seen.
A weird thing happened at work this week. Philippa and I haven’t spent so much time together because she tends to be working closely with Tom now he’s back, while I end up moving between the office and the warehouse. Yesterday though, we ended up sitting together eating our lunch, and we had a really nice conversation. Maybe the fact that I’m not talking to her through a cloud of uncertainty about our ‘relationship’ meant I could be more open and frank with her, but either way it had a positive affect. As she got up to put the kettle on, she said “Something has changed about you in the last few weeks. I don’t know what it is, but it’s made you more relaxed about yourself, and it’s been very good for you.”
I thought telling her the cause is sex with another woman wouldn’t go down well, so I lied and said “I’ve joined a gym”
Something in me really doesn’t want to tell her I’m seeing someone, and I’m not entirely sure why. Am I still hoping we’ll end up together? Am I worried it’ll change her opinion of me? Whatever the reason, I may not have to worry about it much longer. Tom tells me his wife wants to come back to the company after Christmas, so I’ll be out of work again, and Philippa and I won’t be seeing each other anymore anyway. And I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that, but it doesn’t feel good. Why is life so confusing?

RC 29-10-10