Stories from the Beach Pt 2 - 'Sandy Twats'

We went to the beach after work yesterday. Two of the warehouse boys, who obviously want to get in Philippa’s pants, offered to take booze and a barbecue by way of apologising for all the piss-taking I’ve been subjected to during the week. Nice of them, I thought, until we got there and they started handing round what looked like sun cream. It was a tube of Insect Repellent, and they’d taped the word ‘lizard’ over the word insect. And so the agony goes on…
They told me they’d be cooking up some mushrooms, which I thought sounded fantastic - eating outside using only food that the natural surroundings provided - so I didn’t bother taking any tea. Then, when I got there, I found out what kind of mushrooms they were talking about… They offered to share them, but I declined. I get crazy if I have too much coffee, I’m not going to start trying hallucinogens.
They ended up completely wasted, and sunburnt, and scared to swim as one of them was convinced the sea had turned into an army of jelly babies. We were very tempted to leave them there, but our good natures got the better of us. When we dropped them off, they made us promise not to tell their boss about their drug use, in case it got them sacked. Philippa pointed out while Tom is away she, as Office Manager, technically takes over as their boss.
They left, panicky and paranoid, and probably haven’t slept yet.
Good.
If Philippa and I hadn’t had a nice walk along the beach while they were hiding from demons in the dunes it would have been a totally shitty night.

RC 11-7-10