Chumps, and stumps

One of the idiots down our way had his pet arrested today under the Dangerous Dogs Act. You can't say it was unexpected. On Sunday one of the kids in the street dropped a tennis ball over the fence and the dog tore it to shreds before trying to headbutt his way out to kill everyone in sight. It's the latest in a fairly long line of incidents. The owner had several warnings, now it's Goodnight Vienna. (I don't think the dog was called Vienna, but you get my drift..)
The dog, by the way, was an Alsatian/Rottweiler cross, so you can imagine the temperament.. As it was drugged, hooded and thrown in the van the owner was heard to say "I just wanted a pet I could cuddle and play with." If you're reading this pal - no you didn't. If you'd wanted that you'd have got a labrador. What you wanted was something to make you feel manly and strong, because you have a small penis and an even smaller brain.

I sat down to watch the cricket with Ted again on Sunday. I'm quite new to the game, but I think it's fair to say England got a spanking. Ted was hungover and says the result was all my fault - apparently the team were playing well until I started watching and in the last two Tests they've been awful. Ted drowned his sorrows in a four-pack of Worthington Creamflow and a cigar the size of Shropshire.

RC 11-8-09