Todays 250..

I spoke to Big Sister Sophie today. She’s managed to get Easter Weekend off work, and wondered if we’d still like to go and visit? My mood lifted instantly. I felt the weighty concerns that I thought had been troubling me disappear as quickly as a woman I’ve slept with disappears once she’s sobered up.
Sophie says she has room for us to stay at hers, so we just have to sort out getting ourselves there. I spent an hour or so online looking at train times. Surprisingly, you can’t go from Norwich to Edinburgh direct, and I don’t fancy a 10-hour train journey just for the sake of a three-day visit. ‘Why don’t you just fly up?’ asked Sophie. The answer is, of course, that Rory Chesworth and Travel By Flight go together about as well as three pints of milk and a lactose-intolerant ferret. The tranquilisers don’t exist that are strong enough to get me on one of those flying death traps. Plus, I’m worried my fat arse might block the escape chute.

Hannah has hardly been seen since Saturday. Last time this happened, she’d taken something illegal and latched herself onto some barman who looked like an anorexic version of the new Doctor Who, so I’m hoping this time she’s had an horrific accident and ended up in hospital.

Tomorrow I’m gonna give you a list of my favourite albums. That’ll give me something to think about tonight while I’m brainlessly stacking shelves in the dairy aisle…

RC 18-2-09
2105 GMT