One last time, before 2009

Post-Christmas Haiku

In the last few days
I’ve eaten so much blue cheese
my skin is flaking

My sister and I
drank enough cheap wine and beer
to drown a walrus

we’ve over-eaten..
So what was our Christmas like?
IT WAS CHUFFING GREAT

Seriously though, I’ve eaten so much cheese I think I’ve gone blind. My heart is aching, my liver is swollen and my sides are sore from the laughter and smiles. I’ve put on about 3 stone to my already over-strained frame, my skin is like a hookers flaps and I woke up last night with the sweats, the shakes and the chest pains. But you know what? I DON’T CARE!!
We had a great time, and with our behemoth of a mother out of the way and pickling herself rotten up North somewhere, we had no-one to crash around and f**k things up for us. We woke up still pissed, opened presents with a bottle of red wine, and then cooked ourselves a mammoth feast of a fry-up for Christmas lunch. Slept it off watching Wallace and Gromit, then Beryl and Ted did us proud in the evening.. They’d saved us both a plate of turkey and trimmings, and the wine and game-playing flowed like water.

I now have to detox before my birthday on the 20th. Or I could keep going flat out indulging and start my life afresh in February… Surely it’s better to keep your levels topped up, rather than strain your body with a two-week binge, two-week diet kind of existence? Yes – you’ve convinced me. I’m off for a pint and a curry.

Happy New Year

RC 31-12-08
2210 GMT