"The Dark Bastard" - an ode

I should be happy
I’ve got a good life
I life with a woman
Who’ll soon be my wife.
We live in a house
That we couldn’t afford
But we’ve got it for free
While the owners abroad.
I do easy work
and I get paid quite well
I get lots of spare time
and freebies as well.
I have lots of friends
You could say I’ve been blessed
Yet I still sit around
Feeling down and depressed.
How does it happen?
When does it start?
Are there parts of my brain
That are falling apart?
Why do some days seem easy?
So simple? A breeze?
While other days drag me
down onto my knees?
Sometimes I feel confident
Clever and able
Sometimes I want to crawl
under the table.
Sometimes I stumble,
I stutter and plod
Sometimes I’m flying
and feel like a God.
Somedays I have floods of ideas
in my head
Some days it’s hard
Just to get out of bed.
Why am I different?
Why am I prone?
Why can’t it **** off
and leave me alone?
Somedays I’m all smiles
and somedays I just frown
But I only write shit poems
When I am down.

RC 15-6-12