Stories from the Beach Pt 3 - 'Man on a Mission'

I went for a walk on the beach this morning. It hasn’t exactly been beach weather, but I was sick of being trapped indoors by the rain, and I was missing Philippa and feeling confused about her so I buggered off on the bus and went for a walk on the sand.
At the bottom of the ramp, right near the café, there were a bunch of Christian evangelists trying to nab people on holiday and somehow convert them to Jesus.
One of them, who looked like he had just had his first shave and was there on some kind of apprenticeship, locked eyes with me and fell into step alongside me.
“Isn’t this beautiful?” he said.
I grunted a reply of some kind.
He said “God has done great work here, hasn’t he?”
I grunted an “eh?”
He said “If I may quote Psalms, 147:8 - ‘He covers the sky with clouds, he supplies the earth with rain, and maketh the grass grow on the hills.’”
I wanted to punch him, but instead I found myself saying “I prefer the words of Mr Noel Gallagher - ‘I don’t believe in Magic, life is automatic’”
Personally I would have considered the argument closed at that point, but he kept following me and trying to talk to me so in the end I stopped and said “Look mate, I know you think you’re doing a good thing, but don’t waste your time. God is bullshit, and only an idiot would think otherwise, so please bugger off sharpish and leave me alone before you really annoy me and I get violent.”
He smiled one of those sanctimonious smiles that only the self-righteous can muster, put his hand on my arm and said “Don’t you forget what it says in the book of Leviticus: Love thy neighbour as thyself”
So I said “Don’t you forget what Clint Eastwood says in Dirty Harry - ‘GO F*** YOURSELF’” and I knocked his hand off my arm and pushed him out of the way.
It wasn’t an exact quote from the film, but it had the desired affect.
Hell, here I come.