High Cue

We actually had some nice weather today, albeit a bit windy, so I took advantage and got the old bicyclette out. I packed a backpack with drink and snacks and a notepad and took myself off into the countryside. After a couple of delightful miles, followed by several painful ones, I stopped by a lovely church in a village I’ve never been to before. I sat in the churchyard with my shirt off, enjoying my sandwiches and writing some new haiku.
Shall I share them with you now?

Norfolk this Summer
Has been wet, windy and dull
Where’s global warming??

When I was eighteen
I thought one night stands were wrong
Now I seek them out

I’m an Englishman
So I am shy about sex
But really want it

Churchyards are pretty
Shame they are run by Christians
Or I’d visit more

Football is a sport
that seems to be on telly
Bloody constantly

Tabloid newspapers
can’t be used as toilet rolls
They’re too full of shit

Jamie Oliver
is an annoying puss-stain
who earns too much cash

I call this one ‘Haiku Headstone’:
Here lies Mark Forncett
Killed by his lover’s husband
Who cut off his cock

I then set myself a challenge - to write a 3-Word Haiku. That is, a poem made up of just three words, the first and last made up of 5 syllables, the middle one made up of 7. It would be, I thought, my Ultimate Example Of Haiku.
Two hours later, this is the best I’d come up with:

Ostentatiousness
overexuberantly
antagonises

RC 21-8-10