Friday, 24 September 2021

Power, Petrol & Pillocks

This post may end up sounding like a middle-aged rant from a middle-aged prat, but so what? There’s no point having a blog if I’m not going to clear my head occasionally by sounding off in it, and events this week have given me lots I need to sound off about…

First, let me mention ‘The Energy Crisis’. Rising gas prices are leading to lots of energy providers being on the point of collapse, and 1.5million people having to go through the inconvenience of absolutely nothing happening to their power supply, other than seeing a different company name on their bill. Most of these people, by the way, have already changed their supplier several times by choice, as they have used a profligacy of comparison websites to chase cheaper deals on a regular basis. And that’s why this ‘crisis’ is affecting so many. If you’re going to enjoy benefits of the sort of system that means any Tom, Dick or Harriet can start up an energy company and undercut others, then you have to accept the risks that using that system comes with. That is to say – you’re getting your electricity cheaper because you’re not getting the protection of a company that can survive fluctuations in the market. If you play with fire, you may get burned, and I don’t see how you can complain if it comes back to bite you.
  I know we live in Capitalism Run Amok, but you can’t have it both ways.
I hope that made sense. I’m still not feeling very well.

Next, let me mention ‘The Petrol Crisis’. (A quick side note before I continue – Jesus, I’m glad I’m not working in a supermarket garage this weekend!) A handful of places around Britain ran low on fuel yesterday, so this morning’s newspapers said, “WE’RE RUNNING ON EMPTY” and lo and behold, every man, woman and imbecile have gone crazy and started using old fridges to store fuel in.
Can I just say a little thing, from a point of experience, about how incredibly unlikely it is that we would ever, ever find ourselves fuel-less?
Remember the days when I worked as a Filling Station Manager-of-sorts? It was my responsibility (aided by an algorithm or two) to judge how much fuel we might need to have delivered from one week to the next. It’s much harder than you might imagine, and you almost never get it right. Either you end up running low because there’s an unexpected rush or you over-order and have more than you need. It’s an effect that I have just decided to name “The Surplus/Shortage Conundrum”. It’s impossible to judge perfectly, but the point is that there is always enough to go round. I’ll make that point again, in bold type, for any of you reading this while queueing up at a garage to buy petrol – there is more than enough fuel for everyone.
The only problems we get are when the Great British Public, fuelled by some stupid scaremongering headlines in the Malignant British Press, and reacting as ever to some facebook fuckwittery, get it into their tiny brains that something is going wrong and take it upon themselves to fill up their cars unnecessarily.
There are three ‘S’ words that I used to hear about in the fuel delivery business (of which I am gratefully no longer a part) – squeeze, shortage and struggle. SQUEEZE is when there is a slight issue with the process of getting the fuel to the garages (say, bad snowfall, or a lack of drivers), SHORTAGE is when you start to notice certain pumps running dry because there just isn’t enough to meet needs, and STRUGGLE is when those problems extend beyond a couple of days and become a real problem.  All we had yesterday was a squeeze. There was literally nothing to panic about. But people panicked, because they never learn, and so now we are getting into a mess.
Last year it was toilet rolls, then tea, then carrots, then computers, then God knows what else. All these things were supposed to be in short supply; none of them ended up being so. You would think Mr & Mrs Britain might realise this media-stoked worrying was always a waste of time and start ignoring it. But they don’t. They do the same old thing again. And when you react to the same provocation in the same way you create the same situations all over again. If you don’t learn from your experiences, you’re an idiot, and you’re part of the problem.

All this waffling is leading to me reiterating someone I have always known, and which this week has proven to be as true as ever:
People.
Are.
Stupid.

RC 24-9-21

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