I’m a
little bit worried about my sleep pattern at the moment. I’m not getting
enough, I know, and it’s coming in strange patches. Nothing to do with Mathew
crying or feeding or anything, more about my internal excitement and inability
to switch my mind off. In times past, when plagued with insomnia, it would be a
case of laying there KNOWING I wasn’t going to drop off and having to find
things to do to occupy myself. Now, however, I’m not able to sleep BECAUSE I’ve
got too much going on that I’m enjoying, and I don’t want to interrupt it all
with something as inconsequential as sleep!
This
is not a good attitude to have and I know it will cause me grief in the long
run, but watching Mathew and Philippa cuddled up asleep together in a cosy bed
is the most wonderful thing I have ever seen in my life. Nothing has ever given
me greater emotional joy than sitting there watching them snoozing. Why should
I stop doing that just for the sake of my own health????
RC 8-1-19
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