Feet on the ground

I had an unexpected visit from area management today. They do this from time to time – descend upon you unannounced just to have a catch-up and a chinwag. It’s never about a bad thing or a bollocking – believe me, if they’re coming down to lay into you about something, they damn well let you know about it in advance so you can stew and fret and consider suicide – but that doesn’t stop you expecting it to be so. I was in the middle of typing up a proposal for staffing next Easter (yes, I know, but if I don’t get ahead of these things they’ll catch up with me and leave me under-manned) when I got a warning phone call from Teresa in the supermarket office. “Tom and Sofia are here and they’re on their way over to see you.”

Even though I knew it wouldn’t be anything unpleasant, my instincts kicked me instantly into PANIC MODE. My blood pressure shot through the roof and my heart rate doubled and I started to sweat and my hands shook so much I couldn’t press Ctrl+S to save my document. In the ninety seconds it took them to reach me I had run through 7000 possible conversations in my head and then started writing my resignation. It took every ounce of sense I had in me to be able to tell myself “You haven’t done anything wrong. They do this. It’s what they do. They just happened to be passing and decided to drop in. They just happened to be passing….”

Frighteningly though, they had done this deliberately to have a chance to speak to me directly. They’ve been watching me very closely, it turns out, and are pretty damn happy. “The change-around has worked much better than we expected” is the first phrase that I remember. After that it all blurs a bit into a mixture of relief, embarrassment, and ego. I’ve never been one who handles praise particularly well and, to be honest, with this company it’s bloody unusual to get it, so I need to keep myself in check now and not consider myself a genius! They were SO complimentary. They even admitted that they had had doubts about me taking over the position at all (not that I want to go over all that again – you can read my blog postings from earlier this year if you’d like to hear that story) but now they can’t believe they hadn’t noticed my abilities sooner.

Anyway, I mustn’t go on or my head will expand yet further. It’s just nice to know I’m doing okay, bearing in mind how often I can kick myself down the stairs about the things I think I’m doing wrong. This should help me give myself a bit of a break for a while.

Plus – more importantly – them being here today probably means I won’t have to see them again for another three months or so, and that would be bloody brilliant.

RC 14-11-18