pot... and indeed pourri

That’s the longest I’ve gone without posting a blog for a long time. I’ve been lazy, but I’ve also been sparing you. I know for a fact that I would have just whittled on about how awful the ‘Spring’ weather was and moan about being buried under a grey shroud and being fed up with being cold again, and none of us need me typing all that shit again, so I left it in my head instead of on my blog.

I’ve still been writing though. Jokes, ideas and insights have all been scribbled in my little notebook over the past week.

So here’s a little selection:

Another one for my book of stand-up put-downs:

“Your picture’s been swiped left so many times it’s got whiplash.”

Another one for my book of Proverbs:

“Never take a shit in a wind tunnel.”

And more evidence for the prosecution when I end up in court in the future:

“Something I’ve learnt – people say crazy shit during sex, and sometimes it enhances the encounter, but shouting “I THINK I’VE GOT THREADWORM” in the throes of passion really isn’t sexy.”

RC 14-4-18