Over hear

I haven’t done this for a while….
I have a little notebook at work and every time I hear a bizarre, interesting, isolated snippet of conversation out of context I write it down to share with you.
Here are a few of my recent favourites:

“Every time I piss it’s like passing acid through a pain receptor”
“Glastonbury wasn’t too bad for crime the year I went. There was only one rape that I know of”
“If you keep waiting for life to happen to you you’re going to run out of time”
“We’ll still be having sex at eighty, that’s what she said the night we got engaged. Now it happens less often than an English win at football. I haven’t even seen her tits since I was forty”
“Butter - that’s the answer. Cheaper than the cream from the chemist and does the job just as well. Smells like shit if you don’t wash it off though”

RC 30-6-17