??

I feel a lot better today after a good night’s sleep. I chatted to Philippa about what happened the night before and she was equally supportive and concerned. I don’t know if she’s worried about me bailing on the wedding, or about me being seriously ill. Her face did change somewhat when I described my heart racing at about 200 beats a minute. But then she looked up ‘panic attacks’ online and felt a bit better about the whole thing. We chatted about our ‘big day’ nerves and I think we’re both feeling the same way - can’t wait; but hating having to survive a day where we’re the centre of attention.  Oh well, it’ll all be over in three weeks and we’ll be enjoying ourselves on honeymoon, then we can get on with our quiet lives in our little haven in Suffolk. And if I have to go through a few more midnight breakdowns to get there, then so be it.

RC 8-12-15