Bored at work? Happen to have a pen and notepad in your pocket?
YES - so I did this:
Rory's Totally Fabricated Valentine's Day Facts
Valentine's Day is named after Raphael Hockman Valentine, an 18th Century priest who invented stupid holidays to help him sell more chocolate.
'The St Valentine's Day Massacre' was the original title of The Beatles album 'Abbey Road' but John Lennon decided to change it because the cover photo was too bloody.
In Portugal and Nicaragua, Valentine's Day is celebrated on September 17th.
Foxes in Oxfordshire will only mate on Valentine's Day.
It is illegal in Massachusetts for a woman to NOT have sex with you if you buy her red roses on February 14th.
All red roses in Europe are descendants of a rare African flower that was accidentally brought over from Mali by a migrating bat.
If we ever have a solar eclipse on February 14th, the ghost of St Valentine will rise from the grave and garotte the incumbent pope with a leather shoelace.
Jesus lost his virginity on St Valentines Day, a fact documented in the lost book of the Bible called "Coitus Christus"
Todays' date is 14.2.2013. If you add those numbers together, you get 14...
VALENTINE'S DAY is an anagram of "WASTE OF MONEY THAT ONLY IDIOTS BUY INTO"
I'd better rush off to buy a card now before Philippa gets back from badminton....
RC 14-2-13
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