plus ca change

I'm going back to work tomorrow. I'm down to a small strapping on two fingers and some bruising so it's hard to justify not doing my job. The middle-aged lady on the phone from HR (I think her name was Ms Battleaxe) tells me it's company policy that when an injured party returns to work they will be placed on gentle, restricted duties only. She put on her media-trained soothing, caring voice and said "You must tell us straight away if you're feeling uncomfortable."
I was going to say "I'm an intelligent man with a degree and I'm working nights as a shelf-filler, I feel uncomfortable every time I clock in," but I decided against it.
I've got to get myself tuned to overnights again. For two weeks I've been around in daylight hours, now I have to re-train as a night owl once more. Caffeine is the key, I feel. Caffeine, Pro Plus and a Tazer that'll stun me anytime I fall asleep.
I'm going to start a campaign to let us wear headphones while working. Most of us work on our own in silence anyway, and we only get the odd stoner or incontinent insomniac in, so it's not as if we'd be upsetting scores of customers. Plus it means I won't have to listen to the inane whingeings of my narrow-minded and in-bred co-workers, who between them have the intelligence of a sparrow and the life experience of a new-born lamb.
I'm so pleased I'm going back.

RC 12-8-09