The Artist Formerly Known As..

I met a lovely young lady at the pub at lunchtime. Really nice to chat to. Attractive, but not in a ‘come-and-get-me’ tarty way.. Kate Garraway, rather than Kate Moss, if you like, but younger than both of those. We started chatting during my second bowl of cheese-and-chips. She was on her lunch break from the bank, and was enjoying a white wine spritzer and a prawn and avocado baguette. I was relaxed and charming and made her laugh a lot, and even though she was a few rungs above me on the Ladder Of Human Attractiveness, I was firmly believing she might reply in the positive if I asked her to meet me again for a drink sometime. And then I made the mistake of discussing names.
“It’s Tina” she said, “but not spelt the way you think it is.” Great, thought I. I may have mentioned this before, but I have a real dislike for that (mostly American) fad for giving children regular names but with stupid spellings.
Tina was treated badly by her parents, apparently, so chose to take her maternal grandmothers surname, and her hatred of life was exacerbated by her ‘vulgar working class forename’, so she changed that at the same time. “Thus Tina Trent is now Teena Maysfield,” she said, and smiled a satisfied smile. I asked her if she felt like a better, happier, more fulfilled person, or whether she’d just blown fifty quid on a name change only to find she was the same shitty person that she used to be.
I think that could be the ending of a beautiful friendship.

RC 2-2-09
1912 GMT