Off-work, off-key and off-p***ed

Bloody hell, I’m off sick again.
I’ve only worked at the shop for a couple of months, and this is the third time I’ve had to take time off unwell. Maybe I’m allergic to work. This time, to be fair, it was their decision rather than mine. I felt rough as old beef when I got there, but bravely tried to struggle on through the pain of the impending flu.. But then my hands got so sweaty I dropped a boxful of Dark Soy Sauce onto the floor, and Manager Dave said something like “You look shit, Ches” (for some annoying reason, now I’m full-time, I’ve been given the imaginative nickname Ches) “We can’t have you putting food out when you’re riddled. Go home before you pollute all the produce with lurgy.”
Gotta love that line of sympathy, huh?

This bug is a bastard, to be fair.
I feel hotter than a fat bitch doing aerobics in a desert, my head is pounding like the hangover from Hell and I think my sinuses have been filled up with Play-Doh.
The mere thought of eating anything solid makes me feels sick, so the wonderful world of Heinz is keeping me going through the pain and despair.
I’ve decided to have a bash at some Illness Inspired Haiku:

My whole body aches
I’m fed up with feeling sick
I want to be well

Why am I unwell?
I’m not an evil person
My life should be joy

Ok, that’s shit. I blame the temperature, pain and fatigue. Back to the paracetamol…

RC 15-1-09
2146 GMT